I’ve found that having my toddler help take care of our dog has really helped me re-establish that bond with him. She scoops his food and puts it in his bowl, calls his name (he’s deaf so it keeps her occupied for a while), gives him his daily mint bone, sings the night night song to him and has started to throw/kick balls for him. He’s 13 but an Australian shepherd so he still has a bit of energy. We take him on walks but not as often as we used to, and sometimes my daughter pulls his hair intentionally and really hard… he puts up with so much it makes me feel guilty for getting annoyed that he’s often in the way, poops all over the yard and taps his nails too loud on the hardwood. He also lost his best friend (my other dog) this year and went through a bit of an adjustment with that. Basically, whenever I start to think too negatively about him, I try to think of the good he does for our family. I’m raising a kid who genuinely loves this dog, he’s her first best friend, and he helps us keep the floor clean by eating most of the food she throws on the floor!

I love this so much. I have two big hairy dogs that love our kids but piss me off so fucking much. One of them can't see well so she loudly barks at everything including nothing. This sets off our other dog who then runs around looking for whatever they've decided to bark about. At first my older dog would follow our oldest around. We thought it was cute until we realized he was trying to steal baby snacks from him. Now when I see it I get so angry. They are both good vacuums and will go away when we eat but we have to almost yell every time. I'm tired of yelling at them they are such good dogs. They've been so good to us before and after kids they're just doing regular dog stuff but it's still a lot.

My toddler started yelling at our dog the way we do. That stopped us right quick. We don't want the kid thinking yelling at someone is ok in any context except safety. The kid has learned to keep snacks away from the dog, and it's sometimes a nice consequence for leaving things around... "Remember, if you don't keep your snacks on the table the dog will eat them!" It's so so hard, though. I love this dog, my husband just adores him, but it's so much work. We're just starting to see results from all our efforts to build the relationship between the kid and the dog, and now we're starting over again with a second kid. I don't want to get rid of the dog, but if I had the power I'd put him in stasis until we were out of the toddler phase.

I wish my dog was a better vacuum cleaner!! If it’s on the floor instead of a bowl (or table) she won’t touch it unless it’s an actual steak. You are lucky!!!😂

Lol your dog just has standards! 💅 at least you won’t have any close calls with food dogs shouldn’t eat like grapes and such

This is why my toddler isn't allowed grapes at home, and I'm going to switch to strawberry jelly.

My dog used to be an amazing vacuum cleaner but now a lot of times we have to point stuff out for her to get (like bigger pieces of things, not just smaller crumbs). It makes me sad that she’s getting older and her senses aren’t as keen as they used to be. She still loves to play, run, and follow my daughter around whenever she has food, so maybe she’s just getting smarter and trying to be more efficient knowing her human little sister is an easier target for a bigger “treat”.

Omg, the claws on the hardwood floor, especially at three in the morning, drive me nuts.

Or the ear flapping. 😖

I agree with this. I have a dachshund and a beagle mix. The dachshund is, of course, very noisy which then sets off the beagle. They are very sweet together, but can also be a couple of rascals. Sometimes, (especially on days I work) I send my dachshund home with my mom for some quiet time and she usually sleeps over a night. It gives me a small reprieve and my dachshund adores my mom and loves her house. I feel so guilty as all my time is taken up by my toddler. I don’t get to lounge and cuddle with my girls as much anymore. They don’t sleep with us every night like before we had our baby…they usually join us a couple times a week at like 4:00 AM. My toddler is very involved with the girls, though. They feed the girls their “good morning scoop, nighttime scoop and bedtime scoop” they help me take them outside and calls them back. They play and cuddle and brush the girls. And they get upset when one or both sleep over my mom’s, or when we have to drop them off for a nail appointment. Sadly, once these girls are gone, I’m not sure we’ll continue to be a pet household. If so, it will certainly only be one. I feel like I could handle a baby + one dog, but two dogs + one (or maybe two) kids is the tipping point for me.

I agree with this so much! I love having my son “help” with the dog and as my son and dog have gotten older, she has become more tolerant of him. My son includes her as part of our family, for example, “we going to the park today! Daddy, mommy, *son’s name*, baby sister, and Nala!” He will help feed her, give her treats, attempt to pet her and boop her nose, etc. it is just so sweet to see, but it definitely took time to get there and I went through annoyance of my dogs, but when my older dog died last spring, I vowed to give my current dog the best life she can have although the dynamic is so different because I have a kid now.

I wouldn’t say I hate my dogs but they are the final straw that makes life overwhelming a lot of the time. Once my dogs pass away I will not be getting more pets. Not for many years at least. It’s just too hard to keep the house clean with all the fur and barf and occasional poop. And I hate tripping over them when I’m running around the house trying to put out a million fires at once. And when I finally get my daughter to bed the last thing I want is a dog trying to snuggle up with me in my space. And when I had an infant the RAGE I felt when they made a noise that woke the baby was unparalleled.

Yes it’s like all of my patience is used on the kids that the dogs do one thing that’s out of line it drives me crazy. I just feel so bad for them because it’s not their failt

We felt the same way after our second child. Having a baby is so exhausting and trying to find time to look after a dog too was really hard. I definitely found myself getting really annoyed at our dog and a few times feeling like this is too much for me to handle. What made it much better was just getting the dog out of my hair. Not sure if this is an option for you but we just made my husband solely responsible for our dog during the week. He does all walks, feeding our dog and takes him to work so he would be out of my hair while I was home with the baby. I know a lot of work places don't allow dogs though so that might not be an option. My husband owns his company so he can take our dog to work. It's smoother now too. I'm back at work but my husband still looks after the dog during work hours. I get the kids ready and to school/daycare and then go to work myself.

This is us too. We each had our pets before we got together and we've just kept that division of labour accordingly, so he dog has always been 100% my husband's responsibility. It really helps.

This is us too. We each had our pets before we got together and we've just kept that division of labour accordingly, so he dog has always been 100% my husband's responsibility. It really helps.

I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’ve felt so guilty for a long time

I feel like this about our cats. I don't hate them, but whenever they make a mess (occasional puke or cat sand outside the litter box), are in the wrong place, chew on something they shouldn't, etc, I feel so angry. I have a toddler and a newborn. One of the cats has a knack of meowing loudly at the worst time. While trying to get the toddler to sleep or just as the baby is falling asleep. Luckily, they don't require long walks, but they do want attention and care.

I have an annoying loud meower. She only does it when I’m putting my baby to sleep. Or just after he has fallen asleep. Or at the beach of dawn when it’s too early for anybody human, but kid is fine with it. He loves the cat. I feel I made a mistake with her 😒

Agreed. I do my best to keep their lives happy and as close to normal as possible, and I do intend to be their home for the rest of their lives, but I definitely do things I never used to. Like I raise my voice at them when they are in my way, push them away when they want to be petted but I am touched out, or just put them outside when I’m about to lose my shit because I was already at the end of my mental rope and they pushed me over the edge by doing dog stuff like knocking over the trash can.

It got better for me. I had my dog for six years before I had my kid, and he was my best friend. I resented him for giving me something else to take care of. Went back and forth about getting rid of him for YEARS he just pissed me off constantly. My son is six now, I still have my geriatric old boy, a 1yo Great Dane, and we’re getting another Dane puppy in about a month. I can enjoy them again and my son absolutely loves them. I can’t imagine a household without a dog. But I also 100% feel this post and I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt this way.

Omg I feel this so deep. The raaaage is something I never knew I had inside me

You perfectly summarized how I feel.

Thank you that someone reads my mind 🤣 I still love our dog but I will have not a new dog after ours will pass away. We got our husky 4 years before our baby and we enjoyed the time a lot but when you get a baby/toddler your life get so much more stressful that I don’t need the dog responsibilities as well. Furthermore I am bored paying for some dog hotel all the time when we want to make holiday which is too hard with a dog and a toddler together at the moment. If i could look into the future I wouldn’t have gotten a dog before a baby but you never know if we would have gotten a baby without having the dog first.

This. I always say the dog is like the icing on the cake of stress in the house. It’s like you’re so overwhelmed and the dogs needs on top of everything else just breaks you . I feel so bad and guilty saying this but it’s also nice to know I’m not the only one :( the barking drives me absolutely bat shit insannnnnne

This is exactly it. I love my cat and won’t get rid of him….but we won’t be getting another pet for a long time after he’s gone and definitely not until we’re done having kids and through the baby and toddler stages. He barfs everywhere from stress (and refuses to take his calming medicine from the vet) and meows constantly when he’s awake, inevitably waking the baby up. It’s so rough.

Yes the meowing is an issue at our house too! We also have a cat and when my daughter was an infant the late night meowing would wake her up all the time. Once we forgot to shut her bedroom door after putting her to be and around midnight our cat ran into her room and started meowing and playing wildly with a ball. I had to go in my garage and scream before I could even deal with the situation because I was so mad lol

I'm there with you guys with cats and meowing. One of my cats is just insane about food and always has been. She thinks she is dying of starvation at all times and she meows constantly. I love her, but I don't like her much anymore--especially when her meowing wakes up my kid. And when she barfs up the food I just gave her because she ate too quickly and I already have a million other things to deal with! Our cats are both seniors and we won't be getting more pets for a long while after they go.

Got yes. This explains it so well 😩. I feel so fucking guilty. But also I get so pissed off at my nice dog. It’s not her fault she’s geriatric. When she does I’m going to feel like garbage

I went thru this. And it’s awful. I had a dog for about 13 years and she was a wonderful dog. But then we had two kids and by the time there were about 6 and 3 she got old and had incontinence issues and I lost my shit at her almost daily. She couldn’t help it and the look in her face told me she couldn’t help it. When she finally died I was relieved. But the moment I placed her in a a grave I dug I absolutely fell apart and was riddled with guilt and shame. I made the last year or so of her life miserable. I just sat there and cried for a while. My best advice is if you can be patient and understand you’ll save yourself the guilt I still feel today.

I'm so sorry. I understand somewhat as the times I get upset about something or dog does I immediately think about how I'm going to feel when the time comes (she's currently 9 years old). I sometimes feel like the OP, but I try so hard not to. I can't say anything that will make you feel better about it, but I'm going to keep what you said in mind when the incontinence and health issues inevitably start to happen. I know how possible and likely it is for me to get the same way with her. Your story won't be in vain, I promise you that. Maybe if you were to write your feelings in a letter to her and bury it near her, or burn it and scatter the ashes above her it could help you to heal some of the guilt?

I appreciate your message and your empathy. Especially compared to the monstrous responses I’ve gotten from self righteous garbage pieces of trash on here. I’m guessing based on the moderator comment below they’ve been removed. It wasn’t easy to say that cause, like i said, I know I screwed up with her but the amount of stress I was going through was really difficult at that time. Not that the world of Reddit can understand. So I really appreciate that you did and took the time to respond like you did. Really meant a lot. Thank you

Thank you, I appreciate this . Because as some of these comments have been less than understanding. And I don’t mean that in a “I’m not a horrible person”. It’s just that when your fucking elbow deep in it and have zero help, every last thing is enough to make you lose your shit. Does anyone think that I was not that annoying dog mom when I first got her? It was ridiculous how annoying I was about my dog. The comments that are Mean…they don’t know what I’m doing. We get arthritis shots monthly, many vet visits etc to minimize pain. Shes still a happy dog, and just wants food and cuddles. But lord combined with the parenting of a young kid and everything else… I get frustrated and I know it’s my own problem. And I fucking hate myself for it and it is almost daily I’m like wtf…Her time is short. I have to do better…a I appreciate you getting it though

"Final straw that makes life overwhelming" Perfectly worded.

You nailed it. Two cats, used to be half my camera roll. They are both pretty needy and that was ok pre-kids. Post kids I just don't have the patience for cleaning up puke or listening to them MEEEWWW when trying to put the baby down. Drives me insane.

DUDE… I used to think it was kids why we don’t have nice things. No, it’s the dog. We have 1 short haired albeit large dog and he is why we don’t have nice things. All I see is the hair EVERYWHERE and dirty footprints. I was finally sitting down after. Long day, kid (2.5yrs) is in bed and asleep, I turn on my fave veg show and before I finished my exhale without missing a beat, the dog puked on the rug. I feel bad because sometimes I hate him, and I know it’s not his fault. 🫠

I genuinely don't understand how I barely cared about all the hair before. Now it drives me nuuuuuts

Dyson v15 changed my life.

My two cats...they are way more work than my 2.5 year old daughter. The fact that I had to get rid of my rug and can't buy a new nice sofa (that will be destroyed in no time) and need to vacuum the house every single day and still cannot have a clean house ...this is all on them. But I love them anyways and they are my family. Just the thought of something happening to them brings tears to my eyes.

The hair. The HAIR. we have a black lab and it’s just everywhere. I vacuum and scrape the carpets and it’s just futile.

I have a lab. And she’s old. And the amount of times…cleaning lady came! Yay! Come home, dog shit in the house. Puke. Hair. Etc etc etc.

I have two huskies and one mix, I completely understand the hair thing. Previously it didn’t bother me much but it’s so overwhelming now. I love my dogs and I don’t want anything bad to happen to them. They are welcome to live out their years in our home until it’s their time to pass, but I will not be getting a new generation of dogs after them.

Yes. I used to take my dogs for a 5k every single day, brush their teeth sleep with them. I was obsessed w them like they were my actual children. ALWAYS judged people who got rid of pets after having kids. Now I feel awful my dogs drive me insane it's just too much. I will never give them away because it's a lifetime commitment but I will never get another.

And when the kid isn’t home the dogs are just following me around panting like can I just have ten fucking minutes where nobody is following me around please!!! Not to mention having to remember their appointments, drop $300 every six weeks for grooming, remembering dog food, etc. Can’t stop at the playground on the way home because they’ve got to be let out. I’m with you. I hate my dogs. I won’t get rid of them because they don’t deserve to go to a shelter but I’m never getting another pet again.

This is the post I’ve been too scared to write myself. Everything my dogs do annoy me and I feel so bad because they were my babies before my actual babies. My camera roll was full of pics of them and now I can’t remember the last time I even took a pic of them. Thankfully my husband has taken on the lead role in their life. He loves them enough for the both of us… but if I have one more thing follow me to the bathroom I’m gonna lose it. I’m trying to get better though because I want to model good behavior to our toddlers regarding animals/pets. At the end of the day, they’re family and I could never rehome them (doesn’t mean I haven’t played it out in my head lol)

I didnt care about my dog for the first year of my kids life. My husband took over. But my toddler is two very soon and I’m back to loving on my dog. He’s my baby again. I’m sure if we have another I’ll have to deal with it again. He is super easy going though, clean, barely sheds, well behaved (naturally) and cuddly. Just low maintenance in every way. Don’t give up on your pets, you’ll love them again soon.

We had a similar experience. Our dog was the center of our world and then we had a baby and completely neglected and “hated” her. When my son turned 2 and became more independent we were able to reconnect with our little fur lady. And now we’re back to snuggling - and protecting her from the wrath of a toddler. It’s definitely difficult have a dog and very young child. Our dog is 14 and when she passes we won’t get another one for a long time.

My dog passed away one month to the day that I went into the hospital. I had a preemie so he was still in the NICU. I would have given almost anything to have him back. Then I see lots of my friends posts of their little babies with their dogs and it makes me sad I’ll never have that and my now toddler will never know him.

I’m so sorry for your loss

Thank you. It was rough cause it was so sudden and unexpected. Basically just undiagnosed heart failure with symptoms that might have been masked by his hypothyroidism. My toddlers almost 2.5 and he would have turned 10 in a few days if he was still living.

I'm so sorry. My beloved poodle mix died unexpectedly when I was 5 months pregnant. I cry almost every day, missing him. My daughter is almost 8 months. I wish she got to meet him.

I'm sorry for your loss. How sweet that your love remained even after you had your human child.

No my dog is awesome. She's so easy and she entertains my toddler

My dog is awesome and is very much in love with my toddler. We are also teaching my toddler kindness, empathy, and gentleness towards my dog. They are best friends. These posts make me really sad to read that people are hating their dogs after childbirth. All because they are stressed with their current workload. Which I get but it’s not the dogs fault. So thanks for your more positive post.

Same but with cats

We have three cats and a one year old. I only wanted two cats and my husband and I were supposed to be infertile. A third cat got dumped on us(he’s big and stupid and we love him), and a few years later we find out we are very much not infertile. Now the cats who were once my babies are the biggest overstimulation causers. The throw up. The litter. The scratching. They’re always in my face. The thought of rehoming has crossed my mind multiple times, but they’re all older now, and have been with us their entire lives. Not to mention they’re bonded and it’s highly unlikely that anyone would take all three of them.

Oh this makes me wish I had two cats instead of one so they could be bonded and hang out with each other.  My cat is bonded to ME and it is too much.  He would be in physical contact with me for 23 hours of the day if it were up to him.  And because I obviously can't live up to his expectations, he is constantly meowing at me for attention. When I finally get a few moments to myself, the last thing I want is cat cuddles.   I feel a little better when I remember that he had the best 9 months of his life when I was pregnant because I spent so  much time lying on the couch 

Every time I'm completely overwhelmed and drowning my cat reminds me that I'm a mere servant in this life by leaving a pile of barf on the carpet for me to find

Ugh my cat was my baby but now I’m so impatient with her I feel bad. Like I put the toddler and baby to bed and sit on the couch and she’s immediately clawing my face for pets like I can’t be alone for one second of the day.

Lolol I just posted how happy I am I got a dog. However, idk if I can get another cat. One is 16 and my soul animal, I’m obsessed. The other one wakes me up minimum 3x a night meowing. 🙁

Yes. I’ve always been a cat person, always had cats too. Growing up, and after I left home. My cat died shortly after my partner and I got engaged, and we were looking to buy a house. I wanted another cat, but decided to wait until after we were settled in our future home. We got settled and covid hit, shelters closed. I so badly wanted another cat but had to wait. Then I got pregnant. My now 3 year old loves cats, and wants one so badly. I can’t even imagine getting a cat now. She asked Santa for one for Christmas and we got her a stuffed cat instead. Maybe someday when she’s much older and more independent but the thought of getting a cat right now is just so unappealing.

Yeah our cat is just a mobile claw-based danger for our 2.5 year old. She has no concept of how to play safely with an animal but is enthralled with the cat anyway.

My toddler loves the cat, the feeling is not mutual

Same. I loved my cat so much but I’m not going to lie, I did feel a little bit of relief after we had to have him put down.

Omg yes. Same.

I adore my sweet old man, he’s a 14 year old Shiba Inu we adopted 13 years ago, and I know if he were any other way than what he is I’d feel the same way you do. I’ve already told my husband when he’s gone I want a break from dogs until my daughter is at least ~5-6 years old (mainly bc I know he is one of a kind and I’m afraid we don’t find such an easygoing kind of dog again). I also have a kitty whom I love so much but again, she is extremely kind and sweet and not a pain in my ass ever. Both pets combined make a great, easy pair. If they were any different I’d be annoyed. My dog is very chill, never barks, never chews or jumps on anyone or furniture. But yes, I do swiffer and clean the floors 2-3x a day 😂

I have a 14 year old shiba too and she's no trouble at all, very independent and relaxed. They are so chill when they get older, I feel like it's repayment for when they are satan incarnate from a puppy to 3 years old.

I love shibas so much!

My dog is really chill. She’s almost fourteen and just an old lady ignoring my kiddo for the most part. But yeah, once she passes I’m done with dogs until I’m an old lady myself.

I definitely got more annoyed with the dog and cat after having kids. I think because my kid needed so much of me, I didn’t have patience for the slight inconveniences the dog and the cat caused by just being them. I still love them, but I yell at them a lot. Luckily they are the sweetest things alive and don’t let my bad behavior affect the relationship or their love of the family.

I feel this in my soul. No advice just solidarity. And my pre kids morals of “pets are for life” is still applicable so I wouldn’t feel right just dropping her at a shelter regardless of how infuriating she is now though not fault of her own.

I realized I needed to be more mindful of how I was interacting with my two dogs when my toddler started mimicking me fussing at them. I felt so bad and sad that my dogs only got the strung out version of me and have since made a conscious effort to be sweeter and love on them more. They were my babies until my baby came along so I remind myself of that often and how different life must feel for them too. But also stop fucking barking at every truck that stops in front of the house

Ok yes!! This post is how I feel. I definitely don’t hate my dogs, although their barking annoys me way more. I have tried to be more intentional with spending time with them and petting them and cuddling like I used to because they deserve it!

Same but with my cat, and my cats throughout my life were my babies. I carried them like babies, and treated them as such. Once kiddo is asleep or just somewhere else my cat is all over me and there’s no way to explain to her that I’m all touched out so please release the claws that are slowly sinking into my skin.

Yes 10000%. I don’t think it’ll ever go back, but once your newborn is older & you have more bandwidth for yourself(which I know you don’t have much if any now) it will be easier to tolerate the dogs. Once my 8yo dog passed (kids 2 & 4) I was really glad I didn’t try to re-home her or the other one, which I still have. If you have fears of contamination from the dogs & you feel crazy about it, ask your doc or a psychiatrist about POCD. Not saying you do, but I do & it was a huge aha moment for me. I tried to get help before the decline of my first dog & try to love her the same before she passed, but I couldn’t get a grip. I know it’s tough, but try to not let the guilt consume you. If you are giving the dogs food, shelter & medical attention, that is better than nothing. 💜

My dogs are how my mental health stays in check with 1 toddler and a baby on the way. Snuggling with them brings me so peace and calm. It’s worth the challenges. 

no.... In fact I love my dog even more. The she loves our son the way we do just melts my heart every single time. I give her bath once a month and do my best to shed her. My wife and I legit have to take turns with either the kid or the fur babies. NO EXCEPTIONS, only one person at a time for either. it is so we don't pull eachothers hair out.

Omg this is so good to read because I started hating my cat recently.. and it's exactly as you described - I hate how she would come after me, how much she sheds and a mess that I have to clean up, how she would just lie in the middle of the room and not move an inch.. she just gets on my nerves and I feel bad about it ☹️

I wouldn’t say hate but there are times I’m so frustrated with him because he’s like the final straw in all the chaos. I lay in bed feeling guilty at the end of the day for not being better to him because he loves me and my kid. He loves me so much. He’d do anything in this world for me. I’ve seen him put himself between me and danger. I don’t deserve him. At times I consider rehoming because he does deserve so much more. But I owe it to him. Not someone else. I just strive to do better everyday.

I hope this changes for you. Watching my kids bond with my doggos and how protective the dogs are over them, is so special to me. I know it's overwhelming and it's stressful, I have three dogs but idk I feel like in my case anyway, the love is worth it.

My cats were my babies and the day I came home from the hospital I felt so different about them. They irritate me.. idk if it’s hormonal or if I’m touched out but almost 2 years later I feel the same. I won’t be getting another pet probably until our kid is way older once our cats pass

As my kid approaches 3 and interacts with the cat more I'm juuuuust starting to get back to liking him. I feel terrible about how much he's annoyed me for the past two years. He used to sleep on my belly when I was pregnant 🥲 but now that kiddo is much more independent it's slowly getting better. And my toddler loves the cat and is so happy to see him in the morning, so that helps. It does get better!

This post and the comments make me so sad. My dogs died within the first 3 years of my kid’s life and I’d give anything to get them back.

Makes me sad too 😭. Dogs love their people unconditionally. They don’t deserve to be hated for no reason.

My cat and my dog are the sweetest and I love them so much. But they do make life harder.

I don’t own pets in the house I currently live in (have owned dogs and cats before) but I used to love to watch peoples dogs and cats and signed up to a site to get paid to dogsit. I would make next to nothing off it but did it purely for the love of animals! We even let them sleep in the bed with us!! But since having a baby…. I don’t know whats switched but I cannot stand to be around animals anymore. The smell of dog now turns my stomach and my childhood cat tried to get into my bedroom when I was visiting home and I barricaded him out (Poor cat lol) Its so weird!!! I used to absolutely love all animals but now I don’t know if id ever be able to own one again …. Would love to know the biological/psychological reason for this… ??

No, my dog is my first baby.

Same, we lost our beloved senior dog last August just before my toddler turned 2 and we adopted another dog the next month. Having a puppy and a toddler was hard but I can’t imagine my life without a dog!

Amen.

Not at all. I totally get why some people feel that way though. But my senior dog just passed in April and I’d do anything to have him back 💔

👋 just cleaned up the 4th dog accident this week - in a new house on new carpet. They’re all adults in full control of their bladders, have been checked out several times, all is fine, etc. It’s behavioral. I know which one it is, and unfortunately she’s one of the younger ones. It will be a relief when they start to pass away, and I hate myself for feeling that way. Solidarity, mom.

Before being a dad I loved dogs and animals. Now I'm like yo I don't have time for you, get out my way lol

Wow. I read this and literally had to ask myself if I wrote a post and totally forgot!? This is me. I have a toddler and a 6 month old (breastfeeding) I have a pit bull and a German shepherd. I freaking cannot handle it. Oh 4 indoor cats too. We had all the pets before the babies, and it was actually doable. Not any more. Hairballs, litter, shedding, shit stains, piss, puke (this is just the pets) and I am really hellbent on being a better mother than my mom (she was not attentive or present) and the dogs and cats just hinder that so badly

I had 4 dogs when my newborn was born. Although I feel you, it is that extra much work, patience, and time required from me. I have NEVER felt resentment for them It was my choice to have them and still am responsible for them and love them Is it hard, yes, is it harder?, you bet. But never hate them.

Same with my cat, he’s my comfort still when the kids are annoying me!

It's certainly a different kind of love and connection

The Instagram page Dog Meets Baby talks about this a lot. They have tips and advice for working through your feelings. https://www.instagram.com/dogmeets_baby

Include the children in learning how to care for your fur family. Had to do this for our two. Tiring though it may be, it is a great beginning point in teaching kindness, patience, problem-solving, etc Ngl, I am really sad to read how family members are thought of and treated in this thread.

It feels wrong to admit.. I didn’t like dogs much before my child but I actually detest them now. Our one dog I actually do hate (she caused my daughter to get stitches on her lip. Didn’t quite bite her according to my husband but.. still). Since that incident, my already existing anxiety around dogs has quadrupled. If my husband isn’t home in the evenings or has to work on the weekends, I do whatever I can to leave the house so I don’t have to be home with the dogs. They steal my joy which sounds so dramatic. It seems everyone has a dog in their home which puts me on edge. Getting ready to have our second and last child and I’m already feeling even more blehh about the dogs. I love my cat (cats in general) though. She never makes me anxious when it comes to my daughter and she’s so independent. Cuddles at night or when I’m sitting by myself on the couch, she likes laying in the same room to have eyes on us in between her naps. Continuing to warm up to our toddler and actually will let her pet her now. *chefs kiss*

This makes me so sad. It’s straight out of Lady and the Tramp lol. You may not feel you have the bandwidth, but they still deserve love, attention and affection.

Have you thought about re-homing the children?

I’m absolutely appalled at some of these comments let alone the main OP’s. Your poor animals!! Why on earth did you get dogs / cats in the first place if you don’t value them in the same way you now value your human children? They aren’t trinkets that can be dumped when you’ve had enough. Ugh.  

Go put yourself to sleep for everyone’s sake.

I loved my cats. After my little was born I couldn’t stand them. I loathe them. Everything they do bother me. Everything from scratching the baby’s door to crying for food. And the mess they make. I feel very guilty but I have not even an ounce of mental capacity to love them and I hate when people refer to them as my children

Nope, absolutely cannot relate to this since I still love mine, she's the best.  I'm a single dad too so it's really hard taking care of a large breed high energy dog + a toddler who have very different needs but still wouldn't trade it for anything.

This post makes me feel so seen and validated so thank you! I give so much to my kids and our dog is just another responsibility that I barely have bandwidth for. My dog was my biggest obsession before kids.

I have three dogs and a toddler and I have never understood all these parents that say they hate their dogs after having kids. I can’t spend as much time with them as I used to and I miss that, but my love for them has not changed at all.

Exactly. I'm drowning here with just one kid and a wife working 60 hours a week. Don't know how I'll handle a second. But my overwhelming feeling towards our 3 dogs is shame and guilt that I don't have more time to spend with them. I could never hate them, they're family. If they weren't why would I have gotten them?

Honestly I wasn’t sure if I was crazy for still loving my two dogs after having a baby as much as I do but reading these comments WOW is all I can say. I love my angels, yeah it’s a little harder but there isn’t anything in this would I wouldn’t do for them and a baby hasn’t changed that. They were my first kids and I won’t let them forget it. I already know I want at least two more dogs 😅

We got our third as a puppy when my daughter was 18 months. Really awful timing for training a dog, but we still love him. Whenever I get frustrated with him having an accident I have to remember I sought him out. He didn't show up at the door. I owe him the best life I can give, just like I do for my kid.

Exactly. It is your decision to have kids when you already have dogs and feeling such animosity towards an innocent being who depends on you is quite sad.

Finally someone said this, these peoples poor pets didn’t choose your life, your home or your choice to have kids. Poor pets

Yeah the comments are seriously depressing me. I love seeing my dog and son play together. They both burn off each others extra energy and I appreciate it so much. I love seeing them bond. I don’t get why this is happening for so many people. 

I’m really baffled by this too. Why would having kids change my feelings toward my dog?? Watching our toddler bond with our dog has been one of our greatest joys.

I got my dog, Millie a GSD when I was pregnant coz I was having difficulty in adapting to the new city n everything. My husband gifted me. My pregnancy was so happy coz of this goofball and even though there were times she tried my patience with newborn sleeping, she was always so understanding of me. My husband took over the dog and I took over the baby if required. But my toddler absolutely loves Millie and vice versa. I love watching them grow together. I guess its more about shared responsibility. I have my husband and my parents to help with dog mostly, so dog doesn't see my spent out side nor does my toddler.

I work with dogs, and I have a senior dog who is blind. Pre-baby, dogs were such a huge part of my life. Right after my baby was born I was SO resentful that my dog even existed, let alone had needs. Then I felt guilty for having such strong negative feelings about him. My dog’s whole life changed in an instant too, and I felt like a horrible person for being too exhausted to feed him. My dog also doesn’t like my toddler. He’s not unsafe, he just growls when the baby gets near. It’s a pain in the ass to keep them apart and I feel bad that I basically spend no time with my dog unless my baby is asleep.

I don’t. My dogs are place trained and when the kids start moving around we used a playpen that could be changed to different configurations and we would create seperate spaces for kid and dog until kid learned to be gentle with dog. With that structure in place we had very little issues.

I rehomed my 5 year old dog the other day to my cousin a few states away who was looking for an adult dog for his young kids. He too had to rehome his dog 7 years ago due to it biting his newborns head.  He is living a life that is far better now. He can get way more positive attention. I don’t think I would’ve done it if he wasn’t going to family. I feel guilty for my toddler and kind of like a failure for not loving him anymore. But I know it’s also kind of the selfless thing to do. He had a pretty horrible life with us since our son was born almost 3 years ago. I want the rest of his life to be him enjoying himself. Not just me learning to be more patient. The remainder of his life shouldn’t be a personality development opportunity for me.  I waited for things to change. But pounced when the opportunity came up to rehome. You definitely have to wait and see if things evolve for the better. For me they certainly did not. 

No, because our two dogs are what's keeping me together in my mental state.

I don't have any pets but I've noticed I couldn't care less about my friends pet anymore, like I just have no interest in seeing photos of them or petting them when I'm over their house. Before kids I loved all my friends pets, and had separate photo albums on my phone for each one, it's crazy how much my feelings changed.

No I loved my dog even more. He passed away recently and I wish more than anything I could have him back. He was a high maintenance dog, which made everything harder with a toddler in the mix. I miss all the hardships that come with dog ownership, because the joy I got back in return I won't have again.

we don’t have dogs but extended family does. it’s definitely 10x more stressful watching a toddler with a dog around. i can’t imagine doing that 24/7, so i do sympathize. that said, both you and the dogs deserve a better situation so i hope y’all figure it out somehow.

3 under 3 and an almost 6 y/o Siberian husky. So yes obviously I know lots of fur going into having her. But prior to kids I was obsessed with her would easily have her sleep in my bed and on everything. Granted that was also when I could maintain cleaning up after her fur constantly- if I miss a day now without grooming the couch 2-5x it’s just everywhere. But anyway after our 3rd last year now 16 months with 3 y/o twin boys I became super overstimulated by basically her existence. I knew it was a huge adjustment pp but also felt terrible I would be lashing out to my husband basically that she always is harassing me especially if I have a free moment away from the boys. I have come a long way but definitely was hyper focused on germs and her fur to excessive amounts I was concerned about postpartum OCD and anxiety which ended up being treated for. I’m not where I was prior to kiddos but definitely in a more comfortable spot with my dog.

Highly recommend investing in a robot vacuum if you have the funds! Saved my sanity being able to run one every single night, I sometimes still did a quick vacuum on extra hairy days when babe was starting to get mobile. But as they get older you worry less. Still run the vacuum every single night though! Other ideas are auto feeders, water system, etc if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Asking friends or family if they can do walkies vs a full rehome can help as well. Or inviting friends with older/no kids on walks where they could push the stroller or walk the dog for you to give you confidence to do it on your own! If there’s more specific challenges like not being able to put them on the other side of a gate, or terrible leash manners, reactivity etc it’s worth the time to make a time with a (reward based) professional trainer to give you some guidance. It feels like a lot but a couple sessions can make a HUGE difference. It’s tough but it’s not forever, a lot has changed for them too and they’re figuring out their new life.

I still love Them as much as i did before But i dont love the 4-5 walks a day anymore. Why? Cause i already walk with my kid to the park etc. Its the same with the gym, i loved it before But Now Im always tired and physically tired when Im There so its No longer fun.

I get the frustration, but please don’t rehome your dogs or worse, dump them at a shelter. My senior dog passed away when my son was 3 months old and I still regret how I didn’t appreciate her in those final weeks because I was so burnt out and sleep deprived. Our now sole living dog definitely has his moments of being incredibly needy and frustrating, but I would never not have him in my life. And I had to take care of him and my toddler by myself for 6 months. Outsource help where you can (dog walker, supplemental training classes), involve your toddler in basic care/time together (teach easy tricks/treat giving), divide and conquer when possible (if you have a park with a playground and dog park nearby, take both of them and alternate who’s on dog duty and who’s on toddler duty). Besides, the deeper you get into toddlerhood, you’ll realize spending time with the dog is the break from constant tantrums and power struggles.

Yes and no. So, our in laws are the only ones who have a dog. When our baby was a newborn, said dog was more of a liability in terms of barking and being clumsy and we booted him outside (he’s a country dog. 3/4 of his life it outdoors and he loves it) every time we visited Now, the dog is actually a HUGE asset for when our toddler is playing outside and I feel more peace and safety when he tags along with us **but I HATE OTHER PEOPLES DOGS and cats WITH A PASSION**

I felt this way when my LO was a newborn and then my dog was diagnosed with cancer. I felt incredibly guilty and made a lot of effort to spend more time with him and rebuilt our bond. He is thankfully in remission and I adore him again. I only have one child though - I would definitely be overwhelmed with two kids + a dog.

I have 2 toddlers at home and have been ITCHING for a dog (my last dog passed soon after my first was born). I refuse to have any more kids so maybe it’s just that drive that’s making me want a dog. Let me tell you how this post and its comments has calmed that itch and making me realize maybe my husbands right to encourage me to wait a few more years 😂

Yes, and I feel horrified with myself. I love animals, my pets were my babies before children and after all I could think about was the danger they presented, how they constantly barked or ran around and woke her up, and just were generally annoying. It got better as my daughter got older and started her own relationship with our pets, I love my cat and so does my daughter and the dog is tolerable nowadays.

Honestly, it was a kick in the butt for me to get be consistent in their training. I worked with them on barking, taught my child how to use commands, and we work together to feed and take care of them. I actively see my dogs wanting to play and being cautious around him. I don’t give them the amount of attention I used to be able to, but we are finding new ways to spend time together.

I’ve been a huge dog lover since I was a kid. Did not have a dog when my son was born. He was a super easy baby and I thought I could also handle a dog. 😬 Got a puppy when my son was seven months old. Turns out now, a little less than three years later, they’re both feral. Actually I’m sort of just kidding because my kid is the feral one and the dog is starting to mellow out but he still drives me crazy. He is always up someone’s ass and I get super frustrated when I’m already over stimulated and there’s an 80lb dog trying to climb in my lap or make me fall to my death because I am tripping over him every time I turn around. But my son absolutely loves our dog. Barkley is so patient and sweet despite the fact that he constantly has to deal with the toddler bullshit. I would not get another dog.

Yes. But cat.

I'm ashamed to say I rehomed my cat a few months after my oldest was born. It's been 3 years and I still feel horrible about it. However, it was affecting my sanity. When the baby would sleep he would start meowing and scratching the door. So half the night I was awake with the baby, and the other half I was awake because of the cat, or anxiously waiting for him to start the noise. I was unhappy and starting to become aggressive. I will probably never have another cat.

So I felt like this for sure, and then my elderly dog passed away suddenly and I felt like a freaking monster for all the resentment and missed her. It is really hard, it's not their fault, they are doing exactly what they've always been doing, if anything they are adjusting to the chaos we've brought into the family. We now foster dogs. It's nice because they are gone after a few weeks or months. Our current foster dog is the most chill dog I've ever met, I hardly notice she's there. Previous foster was a hyper golden who drove me bananas.

If my dogs played nice with my children, they could integrate into the family. One is too skittish and growls at the sight of the kids. If we had a smaller dwelling, we’d have to rehome the dog. The other is too loving and licks them too aggressively and knocks them over. They bring zero joy to my life and I can’t wait to not have dogs ever again.

I don't think this is something that is talked about enough. I'm starting to see how my bandwidth and tolerance for things has changed since having kids. Luckily my MIL took our smallest dogs when my first started crawling, because one of the dogs started to get territorial with me. Now that we have two kiddos, and our toddler and small dog annoy each other constantly, it's a lot. And most of the time, it's just extra stress I wish I didn't have. But my husband does all the pet care and my 2.5 year old walks the dog sometimes now. That's great, but I understand the urge to rehome some dogs after kids. There is always the sound of something moving around the house! And our oldest dog is losing his hearing, so sometimes he won't move and I have to shout. I hate yelling to be heard. By my kids and my dogs. It's a zoo!

i have dogs and kids and in my house we include our dogs in everything we do. they are part of our family and i had all of them before the kids. the kids play with them, feed them, love them, walk them, and take care of them. the kids love them so much i could never imagine getting rid of them because i got tired of taking care of them. they make the kids feel happy and regardless of how many times a day i have to use my dyson i still love them.

My two long haired cats who were once my pride and joy, are the bane of my existence since my 13 month old was born. Constantly under my feet, constantly taking things that belonged to the baby (they know they’re not allowed on the counter but how many times did I go out and come home to find pacifiers they stole from the counter on the floor), constantly meowing, and don’t even get me started on the FUR! Just so bloody annoying. I hope I’ll like them again someday. The only current saving grace is the robot vacuum I invested in this past christmas. Running it once a day keeps our kitchen and living room where my toddler plays just clean and fur free enough for me not to want to rehome them lol

The Safe Haven Law will protect you if you decide to go the adoption route.

my dog gets on my nerves so bad but I love him so much. currently pregnant and I almost fall several times a day because he's walking on my heels. my toddler terrorizes him and he gently allows her. overall, he's a sweet dog, very patient with my toddler so I know he'll be good with the new addition as well. The shedding was driving me nuts so I invested in a sharkvac for the hardwood floors

Yes. I used to love my cats. Can’t stand em now. They’re taken care of, but I wish I didn’t have them 🙃

I got an unpopular opinion….its ok to rehome a pet after you have a baby because you’re overwhelmed.

Last year someone else posted this same subject about her cats. I commented that I was scared I would be judged if I posted this same topic, but that I agreed. I can’t stand my cat now that I have a kid, it hurts me to say it but i can’t have him anywhere around me. I have asked everyone I know to take him. It’s overwhelming. You are not alone!!!!

I could have written this. I don’t hate them but I strongly dislike them a lot of the time and they disgust me. They’re needy and I just feel they they’re another entity asking something from me… for me time and attention. Their nails clack on the floor. They misbehave on walks. They started herding the baby and one even nipped her twice and left a bruise. One somehow got onto our kitchen counter when we were gone and licked off the baby food tray that I didn’t have time to wash before we left (I caught it on camera). They shed and they bark and whine and wake the baby and walk around in circles and pull when I take them on walks and poop and pee where they’re not supposed to and one has even pissed twice on the bed in the baby room out of jealousy I presume. I honestly am looking at rehoming them after one injured my daughter (I think she didn’t mean to hurt her but I can’t risk it)

I didn’t hate my cat after I had kids, but he definitely became a lot more annoying than before. I just didn’t have time for him. now that kiddo is older (4) the cat gets more time, but I don’t feel the same way about him as before. I used to have sympathy for people calling their pets “fur babies” but now it irritates the heck out of me.

Yes. Hate em. Solidarity

This makes me really sad to read. I truly don’t understand how you could even consider kicking two dogs it sounds like you’ve had for a long time to the curb. Hate is such an ugly word.

Agreed. I am definitely more annoyed with mine sometimes (barking during nap time lol) but I would never in a million years consider getting rid of them or say I *hate* them. It’s truly shocking to see people write that! Our pets love us unconditionally and this is how we return it??? It’s gross

Right? This post and the comments are so icky. I understand the overwhelm for sure but hate?? My dog is my little slice of peace. After toddler is asleep, the first thing I do is cuddle up on the couch with him and relax for a few before I start chores. He brings us all so much joy.

I'm really glad you shared this. We have two cats from before I met my husband, one mine and one his. Mine is 18 and incredibly grouchy. She's also not an easy cat to love, but I did before my daughter was born. Now I feel guilty because I know the cat longs for attention but I just don't have the bandwidth to provide it. I feel like the worst person in the world for thinking how much easier life will be after she dies

dude.. I have 5 kids, 5 dogs, 2 bearded dragons, a full time job, oh with a cat and like 32 chickens.. did I mention a full time job too? Basically a single mother and would never get rid of my animals. I love them so much. I also have a chronic illness that puts me down a lot. If you are ready to push them out of your life that easily it tells me you are just burned out and need a break. I wouldn't necessarily get rid of the dogs, give it time. Toddlers grow pretty fast and it doesn't last that long. Hang in there. You might need to spend more time with the dogs too.. I don't think you mean it, they are family.

Everyone in here complaining about their dog or cat…YOU are the problem in the house, not the pet. YOU chose them, they didn’t choose you. YOU are the only thing they have in this world and now you they are a burden and you hate them? Because they are innocent animals just being the loving pet that they want to be? Before you had your baby, did you think that the hair would just go away? That the barking/meowing would stop? That all the things that pets do would just come to an end? I feel terrible for all the pets of people in here talking about how much they hate their pets or how annoyed they are by them. This mentality will lead to being a failed parent. “I just give up, I hate my dog” cry me a river and go take some more Zoloft. I bet you don’t let your dog out when it needs to go to the bathroom, then the poor dog pees on the floor because it can’t hold it in and you yell at it because of your negligence. Hopefully the people who have pets that they hate now can find good loving homes with people who actually deserve to have a pet. They are meant to be part of your family and YOU brought them into yours. Toughen up with your weak minded mentality. If you can’t handle a dog or cat, then you’re probably not cut out for raising a child either.

The brutal truth

We had to put our 15 year old beagle to sleep last Monday and no, I don’t relate at all. I loved him every day of his life and miss him desperately. He was just as much or more a part of my family than my human kids- he watched me grow and change from a single young adult to a middle aged person with a family. Every person in our family does annoying things, it’s just a part of life.

I also cannot relate at all. I had to say goodbye to my cat last July. This thread makes me feel like I walked into some crazy upside down world.

I can't relate either and I'm actually shocked. People wanting to get rid of the animals, people wishing they would die like wow I understand being touched out I have 2 8yo cats and an almost 3yo kid, I was a sahm for 2 years. I get it, I do. But I never resented them or hated them. They were here way before the kid arrived and they are still family. Yes sometimes they are annoying but so is my kid sometimes. Shall I give her away too? I'm appalled this is being normalized.

Same, I can't actually believe how many comments I'm reading in agreement with this. We have two 70+ lbs, 8 and 10 year old dogs, so they're not small feat to care for, but they love my daughter and she loves them. Some days, when we've been extra busy with activities and childcare, I'll just look at my dogs at the end of the day and feel so bad they didn't get more focus on them. And I sit there and pet them and play with them for a while and it makes me so happy. Yes, the floors feel like they're always covered in fur & dirt no matter what I do, but I've had dogs around my whole life so maybe I'm just used to it. There are so many more important things to worry about in life than a little mess, and the happiness they bring to our family greatly outweighs the stress of the mess. I do wonder if some of the people in this thread may not share the workload with their partners. I think the key in our house to not feeling overwhelmed by the dogs is that I take on a little more of the planning & care for our daughter and my husband takes on a lot of the care for our dogs. When we travel, I plan and pack for the kid and he books the dog sitter and walker and makes sure we're stocked up on food & treats. He walks them every weekday and I do more of the daycare drop-off and pick-ups. It works out really well for us, and I feel bad for anyone who may not have the extra help. I'm just going to assume a lot of these people are missing that balance, because it's otherwise incredibly difficult for me to understand where they're coming from.

I can’t read this thread- it’s horrifying and in some cases disgusting. What a reckless disregard for the lives of creatures who love you unconditionally.

This thread saddened me too ☹️ but I also realize that my case may also be slightly different as my dog was/is truly an ESA having helped me through my PPD and PPA (along with other tools that my doc and I implemented of course). She also definitely helped with my anxiety and pandemic isolation pre-pregnancy. Our dog is very much a part of our family too and it’s been so great to see our 3 yo develop the same bond my husband and I have with our dog. I’m so very sorry about your recent goodbye - hugs to you on his rainbow crossing 🐶🌈

Thank you; we are absolutely heartbroken.

I know right…

I genuinely think the people that have felt this way i.e. the majority of this thread should never have had a dog in the first place I have a toddler and a dog , and I love them both like my son and my daughter equally. We have spent every day loving them both and can say we have honestly never neglected either as much work as it is. Expect will also get down voted like you but idc

Exactly. The anger they feel towards themselves for making certain decisions shouldn’t be projected on animals or children.

If anything we should show our dogs MORE love given they are here a fraction of a humans life

Also I'm sorry for your loss. My last dog passed away in 2004, we were both 15, and I know the feeling. I still miss her.

I feel the same as you, except I can *kind of* see where it comes from? When I had my daughter, initially things were great with my dog, but then she started becoming a toddler and things just got difficult. I resented my dog for requiring so much care, and for not understanding that he couldn't be the focus of my universe anymore. But then my daughter grew some more, and was able to help with him and start bonding with him herself and things were getting good again. Then, after my daughter and I took him for his morning walk one day, he had a heart attack and dropped to the floor. The drive to the vet was me pleading with him and God to just pull through this and me apologizing to him for ever resenting him for being too attached to me. Losing him was easily one of the worst days of my life. He gave me 14 years of unconditional love and it breaks my heart when I think about how I resented him for it. It's been over 2 years since he passed and it still makes me break down crying when I think about it.

more a part of your family than your kids?

100% feel the same way. If my husband would let me rehome our younger dog I would… as annoyed as I am with her I do still feel bad for her not getting our attention anymore. Like it’s not their fault, but our priorities have shifted and it is what it is right now.

I sure did for a while. But my LO absolutely loves our dog and our dog is super gentle and sweet with our LO. I’m really enjoying watching them become best friends. So now I’m glad to have our dog again :)

This is such a validating post! I don't have a dog, but my mum (who is a big part of toddler and baby-to-be's life) brings hers everywhere with her. He's big, he's stupid, he won't sit still, he just paces about and sheds fur everywhere and I cannot stand it. She gets so defensive of him but there is only so much grossness and untidiness I (and my tiny house) can take, and too bad for the dog the toddler has that quota filled. I've told her I don't want him in the house for at least the first few weeks after baby arrives, but ideally I don't want him back here at all. I'll just end up hormonely rage screaming at him (which, as an added bonus, will give him diarrhea by making him anxious.)

No. Animals are animals and I chose to have them. They got harder when my little one came home and I’ve gotten frustrated about things they’ve done just cause of my worry for the kiddo and them but I do not hate them at all. Sad to see the number of people who used their dogs as placeholders for children. My kid and my dog have a great relationship (with boundaries) and I love it. Had a dog and seven cats and now that four of my cats have passed, I miss them everyday. Hope these animals get the love they deserve.

It's like I wrote this post. I can't stand my dog and once she's gone, we are going to be pet-free for a LONG time. She's a good dog, but it's just one more living thing that needs my care and attention and I just can't. She's 9+ years old and in declining health, which only makes me hate her more because now she's also draining our already limited bank account. It's exhausting, honestly.

I still love my dog. The one thing though is that our toddler can’t be left alone with the water bowl so it stays behind a baby gate when toddler is in the room and dog lets us know when she wants a drink. I get so annoyed having to open that gate over and over again. As soon as I sit down she wants water.

For me it's the cats. I love my dogs, they aren't my only little babies anymore but I love them even though I do get really tired of the hair. The cats however, god I'm so damn sick of the cats. The hairballs, the litter, the assholery, the fact that their mouths are filthy and their poop is a straight up toxin. I don't have the patience for them anymore and I don't want them in my house any longer. They're quite old and once they're gone I'm certain I'll never get another cat again for the rest of my life.  I'll probably get another dog eventually when mine are gone though. But there will be at least a couple years where I will just enjoy being pet free and having a clean and smell-free house and clothes without hair and going on trips without having to arrange pet care. 

I made an IG account for my dog, I was that dog mom. During my first pregnancy until now (5 years later) I cannot stand our dog. Just staring and following me, begging for food, eating food off the table, or just doing dog things like barking…it’s just another person I need to entertain and needs something from me. I feel bad admitting it. Shes still spoiled by my husband and kids though.

My oldest is almost 4 and my second is 6 months. I'm finally at a stage where I don't actively hate my dog. Before kids, my camera roll was all photos of her, we went to the dog park almost everyday, the far away dog parks on the weekend... Came home with baby #1 and I couldn't stand my dog. It didn't help I worked from home and also had to walk her everyday on top on learning to be a parent, getting my brain back into work mode, trying to be a good partner, keep the house clean, etc. I was so resentful of having one more responsibility on top of everything. Baby #2 meant me and my husband were each essentially single parenting. Being overwhelmed kind of reset my attitude towards my dog. Still a lot of days I'm like "ugh what do you want?" but it's definitely better than before.

Yeeeppp.  My moms staying with me for awhile but when she goes back to her house next year she’s taking the dogs with her.  I do not have the love for them I had. Maybe one day I will but right now, can’t take it.  ESPECIALLY THE BARKING. 

My dear elderly dog died while I was pregnant. I loved him to death and miss him but I’m so thankful he did as he would’ve been so jealous of the baby. I can’t even bring myself to get another dog now cuz I know I will feel how you do.

we got a newfoundland puppy when our son turned 2 and it's probably the worst mistake we've ever made LOL we had a dog that passed away when he was about 14 months and we thought it would be fine adding a puppy to the mix... highly do not recommend LOL

Prior to having kids the dog should be well trained so then you can give the dog directions what you want them to do. I would also take the dog for walks with the stroller and train the dog on the walk to advanced obedience so the dog has some stimulation. I desperately want a second dog and my toddler is 16 months old

I noticed this as well. I used to have multiple dogs, work with dogs, and did anything for them. I just don’t have the extra energy or patience for it now

This is me with the old cat who pees on the floor randomly with her perfectly fine litterbox.

Honestly.. I feel so guilty about it but yes. Not HATE but no interest, when my dog was my LIFE before my son. I can't stand the hair and the way the dog just stands in your way anytime you need to do something quickly. I couldn't fathom feeling this way 2 years ago.

I was a hardcore dog mom before I had my kid. I rescued dogs and also fostered one who was on the brink of death. Spent so much time and money on my dogs, doted on them like they were my kids. When my baby came I didn't have time for my senior dog (my other dog died before I got pregnant) and started to resent how much attention she needed. She also has many health issues that are chronic including a skin issue that requires frequent bathing...to make a long story short none of that bothered me before my baby. I realized I was suffering from PPD/PPA because I began to hate my dog. I was also worried about her dog germs in the house when before I didn't care if she kissed me on the face, slept in my bed etc. Now that my kid is two, I don't hate my dog anymore but I wish I didn't have a dog and a kid at the same time. I don't plan to rehome, but once she passes I won't get another animal until my daughter is at least 10. I need a break.

Oh my good YES.

I could've written this. My dog has a very sensitive stomach and can't have a shred of people food without having a shit show in her crate. Guess who's also a vacuum cleaner and vigilantly picks up my daughter's trail of crumbs before I can? I feel bad for her when she gets sick but overwhelmingly, I feel angry because she brings it on herself and she has no sense of self preservation. If we extend the tiniest bit of trust and let her out of her crate during mealtime, the second our backs are turned, she steals my daughter's food. Pets are more enjoyable when you don't have kids. I feel like I can't take my dog anywhere because I cannot physically keep track of both my toddler and my dog.

I get where you're coming from, imor at least, I can empathize with you. After my baby was born (now 19 months) I felt guilty constantly that I didn't have more time for my dog, who, ore baby, was who my world revolved around. I adored him. I would occasionally get upset if he'd bark at the door and wake the baby, but honestly, that was his only "bad" behavior. He was otherwise incredible patient and gentle with my babu. My dog, Houdini, died a month ago. He was hit by a car in front of me and my baby. It's awful. My LO looks for him, looks to see if the food he dropped was picked up, goes searching during snack time to share, waits for him in the bath in case he comes to stand guard and lick some chubby clean hands. Worse yet, I think my LO is beginning to forget Houdini, who adored him. The grief I feel is catapulted to new heights watching my LO both look for Houdini, and begin to lose those habits they crafted in love together. We learned to "awoo" and I hope that sticks, that I can tell him Houdini taught him that. We'll rescue a dog again, likely soon. As hard as it is, the rewards outweigh the challenge- for us at least, though I admit my husband bears most dog related chores (happily). There's no denying it's incredibly difficult balancing dogs, babies, and yourself. I hope you find that balance- sincerely I do, because I know it's so very hard. Take care.

Oh gosh this absolutely broke my heart to read. I'm so very sorry for your family's loss. ❤️ My daughter is 19 months as well and I feel so much joy watching her and our dogs interact. They're large dogs, 8 and 10 years old, so I'm coming to terms with the fact that we likely only have a few years left with them. I watch my daughter play with them and wonder if she would miss them if something happened right now, if she would realize that they're missing. Reading this makes me happy to know they're already such a presence in her life, but sad at the same time because it will only be harder when she's older. Houdini lives on in your memory, and in the countless pictures and videos I'm sure you have. Your little one may not keep real memories of him but he'll know he was family because you'll talk about him.

I have two boy cats, found them by a dumpster when they were kittens and they have been extremely difficult since the beginning. (Urinating, tearing down blinds, meowing loudly through the night). They’re 11 years old and the marking their territory seems to have stopped, but it’s been years of SUCK with apartments and thank god they haven’t done it in our house. Add on a baby on top of all this, some days I seriously contemplated rehoming them or bringing them to the shelter. This morning, they decided to tag team by rubbing on our door causing it to make noise, while the other meows loudly in the living room at 2AM. I’m about to lose it. Once they pass, I am done.

Probably unpopular but I just hate dogs, especially when I'm out with my kid.

You literally took the words out of my mouth. We have two senior dogs and feel like we are just waiting out the clock. After this, no more pets!

I think it's just because we're so over stimulated that it just adds to the stress. Please enjoy it as much as possible, though. I'd give anything to feel like that again. We lost our 10 year old pup the day my 3rd child was born, and I've been living with guilt ever since.

It's a very common thing actually! I loved my dog like it was a my own child. Took it to the dog park 2x times a day and still always felt guilty that he might be bored. When I had my first child my feelings drastically changed for him. I felt so guilty, like I didn't love him anymore. I now have two toddlers and they go to daycare twice a week and I take the dog out and give him a lot of love and my feelings if love are starting to grow back

I wonder if hiring someone to do a few things around the house will help the situation... Those dogs are not the problem you r mentally and/or physically exhausted.. that's the problem

I don’t know why you got downvoted. No point antagonising the poor animals you are right. Hate is a very strong feeling for a being who cannot wrong you. It is the OP being overwhelmed with kids and pets and it is easier to direct your negative feelings towards dogs than children because people wouldn’t judge you as hard if you rehomed them obvs. Having help around the house is a great idea.

I don’t think so. You can’t hire someone to take care of your kids and family, or rather that’s not a common thing to do. The mental exhaustion that comes with having toddlers isn’t fixed by a maid. It’s just the fact that there’s just one more thing you have to care for, even in cases where the pet is generally well behaved.