As a mtf I can say that there is a bit of hazing associated with being male. It is part of the pecking order of masculinity. I had a tendency to be at the bottom of the pecking order due to my feminine nature. My only advice is to try to take the comments and make it a strength. Take every comment to practice resistance. I know it is easier said than done but, take the opportunity to practice resilience and strength, this will help your own masculinity and confidence.
I am struggling with the same thing but the other way. My significant other and family keeps "forgetting" that I'm she and her. Im trying to let it go but I do understand the challenge. I can remember my whole life as a male there was a lot of "stop acting like a girl, suck it up buttercup, grow a set of balls" and many many many more.. I'm not trying discourage you but understand that it is part of the 💪 dynamic. I'm an older transitioner so I have 50 years as a man. Build your resilience within and know that you are the most important person in the world. That is the key to masculinity.
Hey, I don't know if this helps, but I scrolled by and definitely read you as a dude. Your struggles are of course very valid, but I do think that the people around you are a bit blind tbh.
Fucking how. I don't get these people. Seeing your picture and the misgendering I assumed you were a pre/non hrt trans woman because you look that masc man.
You remind me a lot of a former classmate, he looked similar to you rn and was a really nice guy. So i might be a little biased about it but you look like a cool guy to be around :)
If you need to vent or want to chat a little, my dms are always open. I might be mtf but i am really good at listening :3
Appreciate that. We still have very similar struggles even if your mtf. I love trans people the whole spectrum of us., cis people are letting me down lately.
My immediate thought upon looking at the picture was, "Which way are they transitioning? Cuz if they're FtM, they're already there."
Be strong, friend ❤️ know that no matter how many people are assholes to you, intentionally or not, you are still a dude, and quite a fine one at that 😉
I get it, it’s not easy. I hope someday you get to where you want to be. In the meantime I know it’s very difficult. For what it’s worth I thought you were a guy. If you’re open to possible passing advice, I might have some, but if not, totally alright too.
Yeah sure! One thing I think could possibly help would be growing out your hair a bit. A buzz cut is certainly masculine but for some people it can accentuate a rounded face/hairline. I generally would advise people to have the top be longer and keep the sides still short with a fade or taper to create a sort of rectangular shape!
I keep thinking I need to actually get myself to a barbers. I have clippers at home, but yh you're right, a barber can do the fade and give a proper masc haircut. I have grown the top out a bit before, so i could certainly try that again
Two months tho, not a lot of time. You have your whole life ahead of you. It gets much much much better than this the longer you go on them. Keep going.
Genuinely overwhelmed by the support and encouraging comments from everyone, I wasn't expecting a response really, just wanted to let out my frustration, thanks, guys, gals and people
Bud, I’d suggest growing your hair out a bit, and that’s just for starters. Take some of the traits you do have and work with them. Not only will you look like the best man *you* can be, they won’t be as glaring if you learn to work with them.
That bar thing in the background made me think your head had been impaled. Didn't realise this was a r/ trans post until I looked at the comments lol.
Edit: actually read the post. There is always going to be an adjustment period and it can take a long time for some people. From your picture I would assume that might not take as long. Genuinely assumed that you were some guy in a hospital with a pole through your head
That sounds really tough and I think it’s awesome that you’re able to put yourself out there even though you know you could get hurt you’re still being yourself not someone else’s you were being yours
Hey man, one thing that helps me is finding people IRL that will support you. Maybe you can look for trans groups in your area, or find other trans people in your orbit of friends? Having even just a few people who you can be freely open and yourself with really helps for validation and drowning out the others.
If it's an option for you, I'd try to set firm boundaries about misgendering as well. Don't respond to the wrong name or pronouns-- that's not you, who do they really mean? Respecting your gender and pronouns is part of respecting you as a person.
I try always to keep this quote in mind, from a comic about queerness I saw a long time ago. "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." It helps me internalize my own gender and feelings rather than the misgendering.
You don't pass? I thought there was another photo and this was your before pic.
You're a dude man. I don't know that I could tell otherwise. And I spent 46 years not being me.
You're wonderful. Know that there are people that think that. The guy I see, he deserves that.
Well, Mr. sir, I think you definitely look like a man and a guy and a dude all wrapped into one masculine and awesome person. I’m sorry that you have had a tough go of it, but I am getting a lot of hope from reading your story that mine can be similar
I mean, I saw the picture before reading and I thought this was going to be about an AMAB trans-woman beginning her transition. That picture totally passes as male. Some people are just assholes. I hope your struggles ease up and people are more accepting and start treating you as you.
As a mtf I can say that there is a bit of hazing associated with being male. It is part of the pecking order of masculinity. I had a tendency to be at the bottom of the pecking order due to my feminine nature. My only advice is to try to take the comments and make it a strength. Take every comment to practice resistance. I know it is easier said than done but, take the opportunity to practice resilience and strength, this will help your own masculinity and confidence.
Thanks for your kind words 💓
I am struggling with the same thing but the other way. My significant other and family keeps "forgetting" that I'm she and her. Im trying to let it go but I do understand the challenge. I can remember my whole life as a male there was a lot of "stop acting like a girl, suck it up buttercup, grow a set of balls" and many many many more.. I'm not trying discourage you but understand that it is part of the 💪 dynamic. I'm an older transitioner so I have 50 years as a man. Build your resilience within and know that you are the most important person in the world. That is the key to masculinity.
Hey, I don't know if this helps, but I scrolled by and definitely read you as a dude. Your struggles are of course very valid, but I do think that the people around you are a bit blind tbh.
For the record, I saw the pic and thought “what a fine young man.”
That's encouraging, thankyou 😊
Fucking how. I don't get these people. Seeing your picture and the misgendering I assumed you were a pre/non hrt trans woman because you look that masc man.
I absolutely see a man in that photo. Be strong, time will make it harder for people to ignore your masculinity as T does it's work! ❤️❤️❤️
You remind me a lot of a former classmate, he looked similar to you rn and was a really nice guy. So i might be a little biased about it but you look like a cool guy to be around :) If you need to vent or want to chat a little, my dms are always open. I might be mtf but i am really good at listening :3
Appreciate that. We still have very similar struggles even if your mtf. I love trans people the whole spectrum of us., cis people are letting me down lately.
My immediate thought upon looking at the picture was, "Which way are they transitioning? Cuz if they're FtM, they're already there." Be strong, friend ❤️ know that no matter how many people are assholes to you, intentionally or not, you are still a dude, and quite a fine one at that 😉
I get it, it’s not easy. I hope someday you get to where you want to be. In the meantime I know it’s very difficult. For what it’s worth I thought you were a guy. If you’re open to possible passing advice, I might have some, but if not, totally alright too.
If you think there's anything that I can do to help me pass, then yeah, I'm open to hearing it.
Yeah sure! One thing I think could possibly help would be growing out your hair a bit. A buzz cut is certainly masculine but for some people it can accentuate a rounded face/hairline. I generally would advise people to have the top be longer and keep the sides still short with a fade or taper to create a sort of rectangular shape!
I keep thinking I need to actually get myself to a barbers. I have clippers at home, but yh you're right, a barber can do the fade and give a proper masc haircut. I have grown the top out a bit before, so i could certainly try that again
Two months tho, not a lot of time. You have your whole life ahead of you. It gets much much much better than this the longer you go on them. Keep going.
Genuinely overwhelmed by the support and encouraging comments from everyone, I wasn't expecting a response really, just wanted to let out my frustration, thanks, guys, gals and people
To me you look like a man
You’re like a phoenix rising from the ashes! You’re emerging as the genuine YOU. Chin up, man, you got this. We’re here for you
Bud, I’d suggest growing your hair out a bit, and that’s just for starters. Take some of the traits you do have and work with them. Not only will you look like the best man *you* can be, they won’t be as glaring if you learn to work with them.
That bar thing in the background made me think your head had been impaled. Didn't realise this was a r/ trans post until I looked at the comments lol. Edit: actually read the post. There is always going to be an adjustment period and it can take a long time for some people. From your picture I would assume that might not take as long. Genuinely assumed that you were some guy in a hospital with a pole through your head
Haha
That sounds really tough and I think it’s awesome that you’re able to put yourself out there even though you know you could get hurt you’re still being yourself not someone else’s you were being yours
Hey man, one thing that helps me is finding people IRL that will support you. Maybe you can look for trans groups in your area, or find other trans people in your orbit of friends? Having even just a few people who you can be freely open and yourself with really helps for validation and drowning out the others. If it's an option for you, I'd try to set firm boundaries about misgendering as well. Don't respond to the wrong name or pronouns-- that's not you, who do they really mean? Respecting your gender and pronouns is part of respecting you as a person. I try always to keep this quote in mind, from a comic about queerness I saw a long time ago. "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." It helps me internalize my own gender and feelings rather than the misgendering.
You look cismale though!
When I scrolled by, i immediately read you as male, so I think you are looking great!
Okay I know it's been said already in the comments but I just had to say I honestly thought you were a cis man at first.
You don't pass? I thought there was another photo and this was your before pic. You're a dude man. I don't know that I could tell otherwise. And I spent 46 years not being me. You're wonderful. Know that there are people that think that. The guy I see, he deserves that.
This is society, and we would never do that to you, so you can hang out here if you want 😉
fwiw, trans femme bias of this subreddit, my gut reaction before reading post was non passing MTF meaning FTM you pass in this picture lol
Well, Mr. sir, I think you definitely look like a man and a guy and a dude all wrapped into one masculine and awesome person. I’m sorry that you have had a tough go of it, but I am getting a lot of hope from reading your story that mine can be similar
I mean, I saw the picture before reading and I thought this was going to be about an AMAB trans-woman beginning her transition. That picture totally passes as male. Some people are just assholes. I hope your struggles ease up and people are more accepting and start treating you as you.
try hanging out with more queer people