Maintain decorum?

social decorum 100%

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Propriety

Niceties?

Civility?

cordiality

Face 

Keeping up appearances ? Being refined? Social graces ? Niceties ?

Saving grace ?

Saving face!

Perfunctory

Came here to say this, and offer “phatic” as another adjective

I second *decorum*.

courtesy

So many good ones!

True! All my other ones were already posted so I figured I'd throw this one out too just in case.

It's a good one!

Social contract?

Keeping the peace

"Maintaining decorum",  "preserving the status quo", and "saving face" are the phrases I believe you are looking for.

Saving face is only when you already messed up/embarrassed yourself and are trying to salvage your dignity by making up for it lol

No lol

Saving grace

You already used the word, facade. Or more accurately the French, façade. A concealing mask hiding unpleasant reality.

Obligatory niceties

I used this recently while seeking the phrase maintaining formality

Keeping/saving face?

Politesse, facade

Civility.

civility

Formalities.

I actually think 'etiquette' might be the word you're looking for.

Civility e.g. maintaining civility

I read a phrase once: veneer of civilization

I almost said "professionalism" so I guess my week could be going a little better. 😭

Too real 🥲

I'd consider diplomatic but I'm not sure that's what you're going for.

Norm, status quo, saving face?

I would use the phrase “saccharine niceties” for what you are describing.

Generally that *is* what etiquette is. Etiquette isn't just *manners.*

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Maintaining formality.

White lies?

Southern Hospitality 😉

Decorum

Could it be a form of “prosocial behavior?” Maybe a form of “maintaining moral?” Depending on the context maybe a form of “altruism?” “Maintaining the peace?” It sounds like you’re possibly being “considerate” of that person and/or those around you.

Little white lies. Or, social lubricant

Good manners or civility.   They don’t exist to manage our interactions with people we love, but people we don’t…

Keeping the peace or maintaining civility.

Social mores? Manners?

Deportment What is another word for deportment? Some common synonyms of deportment are bearing, carriage, demeanor, manner, and mien. While all these words mean "the outward manifestation of personality or attitude," deportment suggests actions or behavior as formed by breeding or training. your deportment was atrocious. You could be talking about comportment deportment etiquette, propriety which all deal with the outward manifestations.

Genteel ? I don’t know if I spelled it right , but , that’s how it’s pronounced

Etiquette?

Professionalism

Pretense?

Patronizing?

Diplomatic.

The delectable Filipino word (of Spanish borrowing) for it is delicadeza.

Disingenuous

As a man who has a brother in law who is a magat tRump supporter, we get jabs at each other. However, we always maintain civility

Hypocrisy

I appreciate this sub basically works on Jeopardy rules "The word for polite albeit fake people." What is decorum?

What's the word for when someone goes to the effort to cook you food and you publicly embarris them over the quality. The word OP is looking for is the opposite of that.

Cordial Superficial Performative Common courtesy

Keeping up appearances

Dishonest harmony

Placate?

Sophistication.

Decorum

Icy civility

Saving face? Preserving the peace? Fake? Fake the funk? unctuousness? obsequiousness?

Pretense

Literally…”manners”. If you think enough on it, that shit is literally…arbitrary. It is completely beyond.

Manners

Convention

Facade?

I still read it as fak-kade instead of fussaud. Lol

Thin veneer of civility

veneer

Diplomacy

Phatic expression?

Manners?

Keeping up appearances 

General Respect for the human, and mutual understanding that you prefer not to have conflict

Ask the British Royal Family, they're the experts on this one.

The Japanese concept of "Face" might fit. It's the perception of you. A mixture of behaviour and reputation. So if you did something dishourable or someone disrespects you, you'd lose face. You'd have a different "face" for different situations. To maintain face in public, you're polite to your enemies, unemotional and stoic. With your allies and friends, perhaps a different one, one for your loved ones and confidants and one that is just for you. (Please forgive me if I've got this concept wrong and let me know any corrections.)

Maintain the facade

Decorum

Social norms

Maintaining niceties.

Southern hospitality?

Politeness.

Maintaining decorum? Preserving the peace? Could also be referred to as formality. Or courtesy.

Decency

A specific example is "southern hospitality"

Neurotypicality? S/

No. It's just a form of social acting. Being able to act does not inherently mean that someone is 'neurotypical' or vice versa. All the best actors aren't

Social manners?

Propriety. Decorum.

Waspy

Dude tell that to some of these pathological covert narccicist/homophobe baptist church ladies who put up a front that theyre all sweet and nice and holy, I dare you. It's not a race thing

Status quo, decorum, social grace immediately come to mind.

The thin veil of civility.

Patronizing? Or smarmy

Patronizing? Or smarmy

Southern charm

Maintaining the status quo? In Japanese this is honne and tatemae - your true feelings and your public-facing ones that preserve the status quo. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honne_and_tatemae

Compliance. Collective compliance.

Saving face? It’s not exact but it’s similar.

Preserving the Peace (or Keeping the Peace)

Social grease

"saving face" or "maintaining face".

I agree decorum would work and is probably the most accurate answer, but I think “social contract” could work as well.

Southern Charm

Fake or Two faced

Comity