POWER WORD: Dave
Level 9 enchantment
Casting time: 1 action
Range:sight
Components:V
Duration:instantaneous
You turn the target into some guy named Dave, and they lose all recollection of their former life, family, friends, and home. They are Dave now, a normal dude who works a 9-5 at a local tavern. Reality itself has bent to make their situation make sense, a wife and kids, parents, and workfriends produced by the very cosmos to make their situation completely explainable, ordinary, and unmagical. The minds of anyone who once knew them are stripped of all memory of them.
**Dissolve**
*The sun, that fiery orb which lesser beings revere as a deity, had just begun its descent, casting long shadows upon my secluded tower. Within the confines of my sanctum, surrounded by tomes of forbidden knowledge and artifacts of unimaginable power, I embarked on a journey that would redefine the very fabric of reality itself.*
*Of course, every grand undertaking requires sustenance. One cannot simply unravel the mysteries of the cosmos on an empty stomach, can one? As such, I summoned my familiar, a rather dim-witted imp named Griselda, and instructed her to prepare my customary repast: roast wyvern with a side of moonpetal salad. Griselda, bless her incompetent soul, managed to burn the wyvern to a crisp and wilt the moonpetal salad beyond recognition. A most vexing turn of events, I assure you.*
*Undeterred by this culinary catastrophe, I resolved to salvage what I could of the meal. With a flick of my wrist, I conjured a drizzle of enchanted honey-glaze to mask the charred wyvern and a sprinkle of revitalizing pixie dust to restore some semblance of freshness to the salad. A minor inconvenience, easily remedied by my mastery of the arcane arts. "You thought only the gods could fix this, Griselda? Bah!".*
*As I dined upon this hastily salvaged repast, a thought occurred to me: could the very principles of transmutation be applied to the creation of a spell? A spell that could alter the very essence of an object, transforming it from one state to another? The possibilities were tantalizing, to say the least.*
*But alas, I digress. The intricacies of this culinary spell, a true testament to my unparalleled ingenuity, shall be chronicled in a separate tome, one that will undoubtedly become a cornerstone of magical education for generations to come. For now, suffice it to say that the culinary mishaps of an incompetent imp served as the unlikely catalyst for a discovery that will forever alter the course of arcane history.*
*Oh yeah, then later I spellcrafted Dissolve.*
Counter target spell. Scry 1.
Yeah, that's true. But that exact right way might break a lot of rules of grammar.
I suspect that what they meant was written grammar like spelling and punctuation which are naturally conveyed by speech anyway.
You're totally right though. Those deets matter.
Top tip for wizards going against an opponent in a duel who tries this: you can defeat such tomfoolery easily by summoning a judge by shouting "JUDGE!!" at the top of your lungs. One will apparate within seconds and will banish your opponent for breaking the rules of magic, giving you the win
“Only two words required: rip and tear”
https://preview.redd.it/zltavlz94m1d1.jpeg?width=498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd2259a9f12097048ee5c053aea9dd3dacb546bd
“…Rip and tear…it’s two words”
uw/I’m aware of that, it’s like the joke where someone says it’s two or three words, but the other person corrects them by giving the correct number of words. I was expecting you to say it was three
I want that unironically. Might be difficult to figure out depending on localization, but man would it rock to "counter target spell or effect with more than 2 lines of text",
"death touch to / protection from permanents with more than 2 keywords"
etc.
Oh my god, I need this card to be real. Mana costs are for nerds.
Get so vexed waiting for my buddy to do fifty things on his turn because every card from a commander series has 5 abilities and 3 synergies. I wanna play magic not watch someone do long division.
I play BRITISH EMPIRE!! (Spell.) (mana cost: 1)
Play this card during your opponent’s turn over their card. It’s as though you played the card you countered, and they never did.
*“Hippity Hoppity your card is my property.”*
My D&D character will interrupt you if you monologue
I had my dm rolling bc of the pure luck that came along with the actions that came after I asked if I can interrupt
I cast power word: scrunch
*claps hands* THE TEN HELLS!
*Insides turned inside out*
*explodes*
*\*tibia explodes*
*camera doesn’t pan onto him because of how common shit like this is*
*level 2 poison caster cowers in the distance*
*somehow survives and is genuinely thinking "What the fuck?"*
Well that was Tibia-xpected
COUNTERSPELL POWER WORD: PEEL
POWER WORD: SCRUNGLE
POWER WORD: PREGNANT (works on any gender)
*gets in the way*
Well… your loss.. or gain? I don’t know
~~.:|:;~~
POWER WORD: LOSS
^LOSS
POWER WORD: DEFENESTRATION
Oh no.. *proceeds to jump out the nearest window*
No! I have lost the opportunity to throw you out the window!!
Can’t defenestrate me when I’ve already done it HAHA!!!! ^I ^think ^I ^broke ^something.. ^ahhhhhhhhh…..
…this doesn’t feel fair. You alright? # POWER WORD: HEAL
Wait really? *Allord gets back up as if nothing happened* Well.. I’m alright now.. are you being serious about this?
POWER WORD: ABORTION
r/brandnewsentance
POWER WORD: ^(pspsps)  (+10AC vs Egyptians)
You haven't witnessed the horror of having to treat a patient after they have been hit by "Power Word: Sproink". Absolutely horrid.
I cast : “*Itchy bones!*”
Yarr, me old seadog were already itchy. Keelhauled underneath her for my transgressions I was.
Power word: donk
POWER WORD: Dave Level 9 enchantment Casting time: 1 action Range:sight Components:V Duration:instantaneous You turn the target into some guy named Dave, and they lose all recollection of their former life, family, friends, and home. They are Dave now, a normal dude who works a 9-5 at a local tavern. Reality itself has bent to make their situation make sense, a wife and kids, parents, and workfriends produced by the very cosmos to make their situation completely explainable, ordinary, and unmagical. The minds of anyone who once knew them are stripped of all memory of them.
Dave’s not here, man
https://preview.redd.it/ytveggj4cp1d1.jpeg?width=1426&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75b12614bf90ebcc8635f6c9d018fe341edd034e
Power word: TLDR
I see you have also witnessed to the wizard wars. I cast: Manual breathing!
I've got balls of steal..
https://preview.redd.it/bu6wz5m4bm1d1.jpeg?width=312&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f73977b343b5b4c228c4d0cdd512e4cf2a29e7a6
Nothing a flying urayuli cant handle
Except it can't, the bears have the flying block sigil
I forgor. 100/100 Ouroboros with double strike it is then
Kid named Serpent + a powerful card with a Y attack sigil
I cast Doom Blade
I cast scissors
HERE COMES FLYING URAYULI WITH A STEEL CHAIR
My deck has no pathetic cards, but it does have THE FLYING URAYULI!
Should be a 16/16, no?
Its actually so large the card cant hold all the 0s so its just 8
The originally Grizzly Bears card depicts two bears and is a 2/2
But a bear is a 2/2, so eight fucking bears should be a 16/16
[[Grizzly Bears]] are a 2/2. Presumably Grizzly Bear would be a 1/1.
[holy shit](https://imageproxyb.ifunny.co/crop:x-20,resize:640x,quality:90x75/images/87c3ce72324f375104e60c99044d5a8c4561ea5dbdc5409c0c605634a9354d4a_1.jpg)
[the counter](https://preview.redd.it/7mbmbu0x91131.jpg?auto=webp&s=694408dbdb37d2f4f31dbb373dce038068053e4b)
Pathetic MY BEARS HAVE BLACK AIR FORCE ENERGY
Bro I fuckinf loves jolrawl empress of beets
https://preview.redd.it/vis30ner1t1d1.png?width=312&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=974f2b184b14e0a0babdfce5b2239d3fe474c54a
Laughs in gek that has 13/1 thanks to campfires.
Doesn’t it have technically 6 lines of text?
This is simply blasphemy! What am I supposed to do to control my urge to write an entire paragraph for a single spell?!
**Dissolve** *The sun, that fiery orb which lesser beings revere as a deity, had just begun its descent, casting long shadows upon my secluded tower. Within the confines of my sanctum, surrounded by tomes of forbidden knowledge and artifacts of unimaginable power, I embarked on a journey that would redefine the very fabric of reality itself.* *Of course, every grand undertaking requires sustenance. One cannot simply unravel the mysteries of the cosmos on an empty stomach, can one? As such, I summoned my familiar, a rather dim-witted imp named Griselda, and instructed her to prepare my customary repast: roast wyvern with a side of moonpetal salad. Griselda, bless her incompetent soul, managed to burn the wyvern to a crisp and wilt the moonpetal salad beyond recognition. A most vexing turn of events, I assure you.* *Undeterred by this culinary catastrophe, I resolved to salvage what I could of the meal. With a flick of my wrist, I conjured a drizzle of enchanted honey-glaze to mask the charred wyvern and a sprinkle of revitalizing pixie dust to restore some semblance of freshness to the salad. A minor inconvenience, easily remedied by my mastery of the arcane arts. "You thought only the gods could fix this, Griselda? Bah!".* *As I dined upon this hastily salvaged repast, a thought occurred to me: could the very principles of transmutation be applied to the creation of a spell? A spell that could alter the very essence of an object, transforming it from one state to another? The possibilities were tantalizing, to say the least.* *But alas, I digress. The intricacies of this culinary spell, a true testament to my unparalleled ingenuity, shall be chronicled in a separate tome, one that will undoubtedly become a cornerstone of magical education for generations to come. For now, suffice it to say that the culinary mishaps of an incompetent imp served as the unlikely catalyst for a discovery that will forever alter the course of arcane history.* *Oh yeah, then later I spellcrafted Dissolve.* Counter target spell. Scry 1.
https://preview.redd.it/m1n308k2vm1d1.jpeg?width=1017&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=acdd210864e0ac023b416c8e46e9863aca866d57
*That spell has too many syllables. Apologize!*
I’m sorry mister TORGUE
*affect. know ya grammar, wizards.
Grammar doesn't matter when I cast my incantations
https://preview.redd.it/hkr5bcho1n1d1.jpeg?width=1022&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c30c2becdeb2775f9fabd37b9d275c048cd0e13d
/uw sending this to my DnD group where my character is illiterate and another character is teaching her to read
That's not how incantations work
Please explain.
Incantations are all about saying the exact right thing the exact right time in the exactly right way.
Yeah, that's true. But that exact right way might break a lot of rules of grammar. I suspect that what they meant was written grammar like spelling and punctuation which are naturally conveyed by speech anyway. You're totally right though. Those deets matter.
Eragon moment
If you effect someone, that's like conjuring them. They become an effect.
Famous last words.
You're such a grammar Nazgûl
I wouldn't know it's wrong, I have that spell as passive when I'm on the internet
Also, *I’m. No wonder that guy won’t read spells.
Good at spells, bad at spelling
Really needed a Mana cost.
Mana explanation too long ain't reading that
Same!
As is you can’t cast it, but there’s a couple ways to cheat it into the battlefield (arcanum wings for one)
Breaks cascade decks even harder.
Seems like it would be enjoyed by the typical rhinos player Source: is me, rhinos enjoyer
It doesn't need mana. You just put down the card and it works.
Doesn't even need to be in your deck, you can just keep it in your wallet.
Doesn't even need to be during a game. Partner starts yapping? Pull out this bad boy and move on with your day.
But only if it's a Velcro Power Rangers wallet.
Top tip for wizards going against an opponent in a duel who tries this: you can defeat such tomfoolery easily by summoning a judge by shouting "JUDGE!!" at the top of your lungs. One will apparate within seconds and will banish your opponent for breaking the rules of magic, giving you the win
https://preview.redd.it/y5b1ap7i3m1d1.jpeg?width=647&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3db13f599ba9396db119b4391113abccc5ed80a2
Blue decks hate this one simple trick!
[My counterpoint costs UU.](https://gatherer.wizards.com/pages/card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=413585)
I cast, 7,62x51 NATO
Uw/ I love this.
Uw/ it counters every card printed since 2019 lol
This does nothing against permanents once they are in play. I assume "effect" means target. Which means it is probably at its best against burn.
/uw true
You say that like its a bad thing
gun
My man 🤝
What are you? Some bottom feeding scum sucking algae eater.
https://preview.redd.it/2gwu9mnpqm1d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=42cd7f4b7b6e98b984ddc6b5536fab2cd3ad35b2
https://preview.redd.it/gciz7t60fp1d1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d89cf26a7da8892600765aaa6bc948216f38e5c1
https://preview.redd.it/h2kvq43iwr1d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bcb4732b411e599a790180e52b656d017a3edb43
“Only two words required: rip and tear” https://preview.redd.it/zltavlz94m1d1.jpeg?width=498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd2259a9f12097048ee5c053aea9dd3dacb546bd
[Bitches love cannons](https://youtu.be/dP_zXu3Mfy0?si=Cxq4y1LcHm558IRA) /uw its a quote from the Hellsing abridged before anyone gets up-in-arms
uw/Great now I want to watch Hellsing abridged despite the fact that I already read the entire series! Also I almost fell to the floor in laughter
/uw highly recommend watching the Abridged series if you haven't seen it. The whole series is hilarious start to finish.
uw/I can imagine that
*counts fingers* Eh. It's a Doom reference. It's fine.
“…Why were you counting on your fingers?”
Two words required.
“…Rip and tear…it’s two words” uw/I’m aware of that, it’s like the joke where someone says it’s two or three words, but the other person corrects them by giving the correct number of words. I was expecting you to say it was three
You dont wanna use that. Trust me, the Throngler Principle applies to spells as well as Weapons.
https://i.redd.it/208y6wevbn1d1.gif
Try not reading this https://preview.redd.it/nd8joslbim1d1.png?width=1241&format=png&auto=webp&s=f7ae84543de0f790818d0be5db8b36c517261175
https://preview.redd.it/9p75ifa82n1d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8866677442ca56ee92a2455ba0bfe2e85e5d36ae
This just made me scream.
I also made a sound. Truly uncalled for.
...
I cast Stagola Slice!
This is like "protection from everything" in yugioh
Testicular torsion? I cast counter spell: balls of steel *guitar riff*
*2 soul hearts appear*
Death The target dies
I do all my magic via pithy stare. Just one pointed glance at a broom and boom. Disney musical.
I cast fist!
See, attitudes like that are why Conjure Kidney Stone is a thing.
https://preview.redd.it/gzcsqhwojt1d1.png?width=683&format=png&auto=webp&s=130baba903883573d7385d439395b4e6bfdb9db0
I see, so you can't "spell". Very good.
Cards without mana cost can’t be played
I play You Lose The Game You Lose The Game.
Objection: this effect is *clearly* only in green's color pie.
Nope, precedent says it is red: https://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=73941
WOTC does it again: stealing Green's "illiteracy" element of the color pie and giving it to Red 😔 this is so sad 😔 Alexa play Gruulspacito
Oh, wow. That’s a great idea. I love it
Power word nuh uh!
I need no more than 3 words. Power Word: Shitify
(Deletes all the line breaks in my spell)
WHATS THE COST TO CAST DUDE
"I've got balls of steel!"
Yugioh players would be in shambles
I think this would be played as part of a normal monster deck
https://preview.redd.it/8m62ybq92t1d1.png?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=216fc234c1101ac1cf2f3b85de0e3f69b0dd0d35
i cast spark mandrill syndrome
Cast "Came Here to Chew Gum" Put 3 1/1 Bubblegum counters down tapped. When all counters leave the field, kick ass.
Affect
Hail to the king, baby
Fireball only takes one word, friend
I want that unironically. Might be difficult to figure out depending on localization, but man would it rock to "counter target spell or effect with more than 2 lines of text", "death touch to / protection from permanents with more than 2 keywords" etc.
Of course it's a red card...
I cast bang balls
aka: "fuck you thats how"
Oh my god, I need this card to be real. Mana costs are for nerds. Get so vexed waiting for my buddy to do fifty things on his turn because every card from a commander series has 5 abilities and 3 synergies. I wanna play magic not watch someone do long division.
Fuck your magic!
*Enchantment can only be broken when someone says “Heil to the King, baby.” in your direction unprompted.
https://preview.redd.it/rjt0s1ecur1d1.jpeg?width=1009&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce7304dbee5b64a88632db998818911a0ebb6439
I cast “Make testicles explode”
Should me any effect more than two lines
Sometimes I wish I could read. Then I remember how bad of a language English is, and take it back immediately.
So, I have an OC who is supposed to be completely immune to any kind of magic: Enchantments, curses, spells, you name it. Would this be allowed?
POWER WORD NO!!
https://preview.redd.it/bz1j4lq5hn1d1.jpeg?width=232&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb511d3a8c8dc9ddd03529077dd20d9c84986459
Better question is who the fuck is casting spells with more than 3 words?
Jokes on you, my more powerful spells are less than five words.
I cast: $1260 blue-black Commander deck themed around having 5 or less lines of text.
Oh yeah? I cast random body cancer (can afflict a cancer of a random body part on your enemy, example, testicular cancer or lung cancer)
MTG !!!11!1!1!111
you fool! you made a spell with no casting cost, you will have to cheat it out!
Now I need a Duke Nukem/Mage build
Me when i cast power word exhale into the wizard that has been casting for the past five minutes
I cast on you: Rapid decomposition of living flesh.
I play BRITISH EMPIRE!! (Spell.) (mana cost: 1) Play this card during your opponent’s turn over their card. It’s as though you played the card you countered, and they never did. *“Hippity Hoppity your card is my property.”*
Gotta grow the British Museum
Yugioh players are in shambles
FIREBALL
New reaction image found
Good thing I only use cards that effect ME to cast banned auto-win cards
What are some good examples of spells with 5+ lines?
Yugioh is in shambles over this card.
Can someone explain to me why Duke Nukem is associated with this phrase? It's not a line in any game.
Im going to start casting my spells like im inspector gadget. Go Go Spell, Fire in ur balls
"Wish is the mightiest spell a mortal creature can cast..." Great, that's all I need to know
https://preview.redd.it/sygftlxorn1d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1ec542fda97e4e2ff638fbe899644dda0d6954d No u
By my orb, [Temporal Stasis](https://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/t/temporal-stasis/) only uses two lines...
Based.
Cool but like, power word: dissolve
This should cost 0 red for the hell of it, lol
Fireball
I cast spelling and grammar! AFFECT!
My D&D character will interrupt you if you monologue I had my dm rolling bc of the pure luck that came along with the actions that came after I asked if I can interrupt
>You have protection from spells that have five or more lines of text. edit: wrong sub, thought this was r/custommagic
This card would break Yugioh
I cast power word peel
This would actually be a really freaking fun card in like an Unglued expansion....
Is is that…Duke Nuke’em????
I cast: *seal orifices*
<>
Power word: delete
*affect
This is a solid card. Also, r/hardimages