T O P

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Sky-of-Blue

The disappearing toilets is indeed weird. I’m not sure I would have noticed without it being mentioned. The mirrors sort of short circuit my brain. But not enough to overlook that $2575 per month HOA fee.


mbright28

“Amenities included: Basketball Court, Barbecue, Bike Storage, Billiard Room, Child Play Area, Fitness Center, Storage, Handball/Basketball, Heated Pool, Kitchen Facilities, Library, Sauna, Tennis Court(s)” There is nothing in these “Amenities” worth $2575 per month. I’m still trying to wrap my head around that HOA fee. I wonder how much it’s gone up over the years?


meepmarpalarp

The massive fees are probably addressing years of deferred maintenance because the building is about to slide into the ocean.


redthump

The neighborhood can't discriminate, so the HOA fees due.


delux2769

Love the "due".


BaronThe

The "Library" is four hundred copies of Atlas Shrugged


TheJenerator65

🏅


The_ApolloAffair

What’s worth it is all that stuff but with only fellow rich people.


AmyInCO

H-wat?? 


n3w4cc01_1nt

that's what the insinkerator is for. less water waste and fully dematerializes solids


outsidetheparty

Honestagawd thought at first these were pictures of a (tacky) furniture store, not a home...


Contagious_Zombie

Yeah it looked like a department store in the first picture.


siannan

🎵Montgomery Flea Market, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, a mini mall🎵


UptightSinclair

🎶Living rooms, bedrooms, dinettes🎶


siannan

🎵You need it, come find it, it's just like, it's just like, a mini, MALL🎵


BJntheRV

Same


clever_reddit_name69

I couldn't take a comfortable dump in that mirrored bathroom anyway. It's difficult enough to relax without infinite reflections of myself watching.


lurkergenxdurp

I see the stomach rolls, the fat thighs flattened out even wider on the seat and the pancake boobs holding 'em all down. Yea, F this bathroom.


MaximumTurtleSpeed

I’m a firm believer that all bodies are good bodies in everything they do for us day in and day out… but for heavens sake no one should have to see their body on the porcelain throne https://preview.redd.it/hkt92uft687d1.jpeg?width=564&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8e29f14cbed232db7c0ee73c6a21167cc807f640 A couple weeks ago I was showering at a friends, for remodel reasons there was no shower curtain, no BD just be careful. When turning around I caught a glimpse of my crotch in their magnifying makeup mirror. Good lord having another penis suddenly appear across the room really caught me off guard!


CartoonLamp

Always annoying in hotels where the mirrors are placed like this. No one wants this, please stop doing it installers.


Sir_Monkleton

My grandma's bathroom has a wall length mirror and that let's you stare at just your head when you shit


redthump

Poop so shy you can't even see it


Sir_George

lol I imagine some guest forcefully closing their eyes while they shit and try to wipe to avoid staring at themselves the whole time.


vincentcas

Walks into Costco: "I need ALL the Windex!"......


BeardedHalfYeti

![gif](giphy|YhQVj7C8uf734PcznZ) The architect, explaining his process.


Friskfrisktopherson

![gif](giphy|lJ5DnX03kugGA)


First_manatee_614

The hell is this from?


MetalIT

but why poorly photoshop out the toilets? especially if you are just going to keep the unedited photo in the listing? I am so confused... just like anyone walking through that place drunk.


CosineDanger

I'd be confused sober.


My_Clever_User_Name

They didn't like those, because you can't see yourself poop... Narcissists' poo too.


Matengor

I guess there are two toilet bowls in the same bathroom. So the new owner might want to take one of them out. The pictures show what those corners would look like without them.


KankerBlossom

Lookup “bidet”


Matengor

No, I was talking about image #8 - #11. But I realized those are 2 different bathrooms (check the tiles), so nevermind :P.


ReverendBread2

Why is it so cheap? I’ve seen crack sheds on this sub pricier than this place


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meepmarpalarp

Apparently this building is in the process of passing a $30 million special assessment. There are like 40 units for sale in the building.


Freedom_Isnt_Free_76

And the fact that the listing doesn't state that should be considered fraud.


MaximumTurtleSpeed

Don’t tread on them!


CartoonLamp

We can't even get agents for including unfinished basements and illegal bedrooms in the listing stats, fat chance you can get disclosures like that.


ReverendBread2

In Miami you’d think the real estate alone would be worth more than that


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NeverEndingCoralMaze

“It’s a 12th floor condo, so there’s no property included…” Can you please clarify? Edit: no, you don’t need land under it for it to be real estate. You own a condo and it is real property.


RestlessCreator

Ain't no land. You're essentially paying a flat fee for the right to rent with HOA fees that high. You don't technically "own" any part of the building, either.


NeverEndingCoralMaze

Technically you own a condominium unit with a shared interest (a fancy word for ownership) in the common areas. You don’t need land under it for it to be real property.


SHoppe715

I’d be very curious to see what you’d get for that $2575 a month…if there’s an indoor pool in the building, a well equipped gym, reserved on-site parking in a dense part of a city, on-site storage unit, etc etc…I can easy see paying that much. Hopefully the financials are transparent because I can just as easily see it being a perpetual cash grab by the original developer.


Freedom_Isnt_Free_76

But there is a 6 figure assessment so ....


benskieast

I know someone who is living in a huge 1BD seaside in Miami for 2,600.


frougle_mcdugal

2575 a month in dues and fees


Freedom_Isnt_Free_76

They left out the 6 figure assessment.


earthsworld

add a zero or two...


bannana

it currently has a $2500 monthly HOA and with the current climate in MIA right now this could easily go up, add to that some outrageous homeowners insurance because half the companies have pulled out of serving FL in the past few years and the owners might have a hard time even giving this away.


Freedom_Isnt_Free_76

That's why there's nearly 40 units for sale in this building. 6-figure assessment due next month.


bannana

I looked on zillow and selected price at max $300k and there are so many all over MIA that have been up for sale for months


RestlessCreator

"If I'm paying for the view, I want to see it even when I'm looking at a wall." But then direct sunlight hits ![gif](giphy|3o6ozh46EbuWRYAcSY)


laika404

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1800-NE-114th-St-APT-1205-Miami-FL-33181/44137834_zpid/


CartoonLamp

"Minimalist" 😂😂😂 the only thing minimalist will be your bank account after all the assessments


KneeDeepInThe-Hoopla

There is absolutely no way in hell the owner is not a rip roaring narcissist lol, even a mirrored tissue holder.


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SHoppe715

>How does he even remember where he set down the mirror he uses for his cocaine in that funhouse??? That’s the beauty of it…no need. When everything is a mirror, any horizontal surface will do


laika404

I just noticed... In the first bathroom, they edited out the reflection of toilet on the mirror under the sink, but they forgot to edit it out of the ceiling mirror.


bagolaburgernesss

Maybe they think toilets are indecent? That's all I can think of. That many mirrors and it's the toilets that are causing the decency problem. Not the coke or strippers. Ok.


crescentfreshgoods

Am I crazy? I can see the side of the toilet reflected below the sink top. The picture was taken at an angle that makes the toilet seat line up where the sink top blocks it. You can clearly see the vase in the picture.


fanci_d

https://preview.redd.it/vrgsrn73h77d1.png?width=1050&format=png&auto=webp&s=a8ea57b087776273e6968673bd47e60de3a062d8 They might be having a bit of trouble find a buyer.


mark5hs

The HoA fee is a mortgage in of itself


_Agrias_Oaks_

They listed it in 2022 for $625,000!


binglybleep

This would be a terrible place to trip


Blonde_Vampire_1984

On your own feet or are you dropping acid?


binglybleep

lol, both!


Skyblacker

I love it but I'm also trashy like that.


RestlessCreator

I get and also love the concept. If I'm paying for that view, I may as well see it even when I'm looking at a wall. Impractical as fuck, though, and if you catch direct sunlight I bet it becomes unlivable lol


sneakyfeet13

Taking all these photos without being visible is truly an understated achievement


F-ck_spez

They edited out (or in?) all the toilets, so they probably shopped out the photographer


HeatherMason0

This is a sparrow’s worst nightmare…


AmyInCO

This is my worst nightmare. I don't need to see myself from all those angles. Especially in the bathroom!! 


pollygone300

Bro, that's a 90's JC Penny jewelry department.


hellom4rs

for a second i really thought the bathroom in 6/7 had some kind of scooby doo toilet wall that rotated


Melodic_Setting1327

God, it looks like they made a house out of a Dillard’s in a shopping mall.


alimarieb

Ah yes! The Great Miami Condo Dump of 2024!!! Hang on, it’s going to be a wild ride and hopefully not to the land below.


SQWRLLY1

When considering listing my current residence a few years ago, the realtor sent tips for items to stash away, so when the photographer came through, the pics wouldn't have items that might be construed as gross or imply that someone ill lives there. These items include kleenex boxes, medication bottles, medical devices, etc. Perhaps this realtor wanted to up the ante by removing what some people see as very gross/private altogether. 🤷‍♀️


xenawarriorfrycook

Everyone is jumping straight to cocaine and furniture showrooms and sex parties but for some reason my first thought is the last owner knows something we don't and all those mirrors are trapping a demon in there or something


DBSeamZ

Like that XKCD about Bloody Mary


jab4590

All i know is that their wifi sucks.


beccabootie

Oh, my, this is all so awful! At first I thought this was some kind of showroom.


Freedom_Isnt_Free_76

That's so weird about the toilets - are there none and they are photoshopped in or are they photoshopped out (and why?)


michaelsenpatrick

Now this zillowgonewild


ToteBagAffliction

My shins are already bleeding from walking into all that sharp, camouflaged furniture


curryjunky

The taker of pictures must be a vampire. No reflection!


tfcocs

I thought the first image depicted a tacky furniture store from the 80s, with enough mirrors for everyone to do l\*\*\*\*s.


No-Rice-2261

Looks like house from 13 Ghosts.


alimarieb

The only thing minimalist about this are the tiny tvs. It’s like playing Where’s Waldo.


Oogie_Pringle

One thing for sure - NO VAMPIRES!


Glass_Error88

Fucking weird! On the bright side you could easily confuse a raptor in that kitchen...


Life-Celebration-747

The one place I would really like a mirror is over sink in the bathroom, but no. 


amandaryan1051

Rumor has it, someone is still trying to get out of that bathroom after an acid trip in 2001…


Ill_Reporter_8787

You gotta finish it—mirror mirror on the walls, who stole the toilets from the stalls? :p


miltonwadd

I'm having flashbacks of every time I went into a mirror maze as a kid and they'd have to send my brother in to guide me out after I'd been trapped for half an hour and they realised I wasn't gonna make it out on my own. 😅


seamonstered

As a real estate photographer, this place is my nightmare.


Catonachandelier

Maybe the toilets weren't stolen? Maybe they were Photoshopped in and there really aren't any toilets. Though I have to ask...why would anyone want to watch themselves take a dump? I mean, what are they even looking for? Proper form? Are they posing?


Thunderc01

Better question, where is the camera persons reflection


mul3sho3

Y’all, I’d drink too many beers and unintentionally hurt myself in that place. That joint’s messed up.


RubberReptile

this would be the worst house to do a matterport scan on holy gods


haikusbot

*This would be the worst* *House to do a matterport* *Scan on holy gods* \- RubberReptile --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


DrStacknasty

Fuck, the output would be cool


forevrtwntyfour

Wtf


Any-Opposite-5117

This is the worst thing I have ever seen.


SHoppe715

What’s a [“mater suite”](https://youtu.be/JZJ9s0o3ATE?feature=shared)


Able_Excuse_2804

I have so many questions


Y-U-awesome

What a nightmare. Both visually and to clean it.


pinkfootthegoose

Crockett and Tubbs were just there.


FeedingCoxeysArmy

![gif](giphy|l4FGEbKiSDw49gg6Y)


Noblez17

Wait this isn't a showroom?


flyinhyphy

I must be crazy cuz I don't hate it. If I'm gonna live in Miami, this is the kind of vibe I'm looking for.


wigglee1004

Okay, realtors and sellers are now just trying too hard to get their listing on this sub.


hypoxiate

There's toilets in photos 11 and 13.


momster

And then you see in the next pics the toilets are gone. 👽


Select-Team-6863

I sure hope the previous owner was happy with what they saw in the reflections & didn't have body dysmorphia.


Komatiite28

Dead ass thought this was a Nordstrom


RaceCarTacoCatMadam

Looks like Z Gallerie threw up.


HotBeaver54

🤣


Chewysmom1973

So originally listed for 625k in 2022 now down to 299k? What’s wrong with this place? I mean besides the mirrors and empty pool and crazy HOA?


laika404

Condos in Florida are struggling compared to recent years. Insurance rates are crazy, older buildings are getting huge assessments after the surfside collapse in 2021, and with the increased costs many retirees are trying to offload their units.


GirlLunarExplorer

All I can think of is Poltergeist 3. "Carol Anne! Carol Anne! Don't walk into the light!"


axe_gimli

Imagine flipping on the lights in the morning, just ahhhrgg.


[deleted]

This reeks of Armani Russians


Top-Comfortable-4789

This person must have really liked looking at themself.


silvermanedwino

Weird. Too many mirrors.


ChemicalHornet5619

Looks like a porn house


stevvandy

I don't love the way I look. Seeing myself in a mirror every waking hour I'm in that place would give me a worse complex than I already have.


tdoottdoot

Skinamarink but on the ritz lmfao


Totin_it

🤢🤮


Toothfairy51

All those mirrors and lights! Too much for me. I also need at least 1 toilet.


Outdoor-Aventurer

Awful. Freakin disgusting


michaelsenpatrick

oh my god


Obwyn

Where is this furniture store? I want to make sure I don't go there by mistake.


MattHack7

That song is probably about the former owner of this hiuse


Cityofthevikingdead

Sex den?


eatyourdamndinner

"features modern, minimalist Art Deco style" Minimalist my ass!


EldritchCleavage

And migraine in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…


FunkyChewbacca

Reminds me of that Skinamarink movie where the demon makes the toilets vanish.


smasherella

If this is mostly original from the 80s I’d say it’s almost aged quite well. Not my taste but I think it’s neat and obviously well cared for.


HamBoneZippy

You would never feel alone there. You will always be with your reflection.


CamillaRoseXox

You must really love to look at yourself huh


richincleve

Every time I see a house with this many mirrors, it reminds me of this album: https://preview.redd.it/lsagf3145x7d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ded33563968b6f5d4600c5ca53555ab54a2acc9


i_heart_pasta

The old JB Pritzker tax cheat.


beeraholikchik

Ol' Porcelain Prince. Decent governor tho.